From Bad To Worse

2. Hole In The Wall

As soon as I had smothered both mine and April's pancakes in syrup and topped them with little tinned strawberries, it didn't take us long to eat all of it. We both giggled a little at our greed and got straight down to building 'the best fort ever' as April had described.

I had to admire her strength. For someone as young as her to have to suddenly realise it's just going to be her and her mother from now on, that she's going to have to grow up without a father. She was strong, and I was truly proud of that.

I watched her race in to our living room, her ginger hair flowing behind her. I chased after her, playful screams escaped her mouth as I tickled her waist. "Wait here," I told her. "I'll be back soon with some blankets we can use." She nodded and began throwing the cushions off of the sofa.

I jogged upstairs and headed directly to the airing cupboard, that's were we stored the spare blankets and pillows. I grabbed some and threw them on my bed. I was about to go back downstairs but I thought of how much she loved my old bed sheets.

They were red with little white flowers on them, I was never fond of them but when she saw them in the shop, she begged me to buy them, she managed to perform those little puppy-dog eyes which you simply cannot say no to. I suddenly had an idea that we could decorate our den with the sheets and it would be a wonderful surprise when April sees that I've found them.

I quickly began to dig through the remaining towels, pillows and sheets to find it. Before long, I hit the back of the cupboard. I hit it in defeat but, to my surprise, it was hollow. I knocked a few times just to be sure and there seemed to be something behind the wall.

"Mummy? Do you have the sheets?" I heard April's voice call up the stairs and I knew this wasn't the time for exploring.

"Yes, hun. I'm on my way down." I took one last glance at the airing cupboard before shutting the door and taking the sheets that I had retrieved downstairs to a very impatient, and excited, little girl.

"Sorry it took so long, sweet heart. Are you ready?" I asked her, beginning to set up the sheets.

"Mummy..." She trailed off, as if she was going to ask me for something. I looked at her to show I was listening. "Daddy's not coming back, is he?" She asked. A shiver was sent through my spine. She had said it so casually, as if it was just a question and the answer didn't really matter. I looked at her in shock and she exchanged a confused stare.

"Uhh, I'm not sure, honey. Why?" I said, fighting back the tears as I spoke. I watched as tears began to fall from her sorrowful eyes.

"I miss him, mummy!" She held me tight and I allowed her tears to fall from her eyes on to my dressing gown. I held her even tighter and whispered that it would be okay, even though I wasn't sure it would be.

"Shh, shh, shh! It's alright, sweetie! Let's just have some fun, okay? To help you take your mind off of things?" I took her chin and held it up so she was looking directly in to my eyes. She wiped her tears and released a few more whimpers before nodding and a small smile crept over her face.

I stood up and took her hand in mine, leading her over the the sheets I had just brought down. I watched as she began to arrange them and she told me she was going to make a cushion castle. I laughed a little in delight, her sudden change of heart was a real surprise to me but I knew she had been strong for far too long, it was time for me to be strong for a change.

By lunch time, we had successfully structured a den which we were both proud of. "High five!" I said as we slapped our hand together. We admired our achievement together.

"Oh and mummy, one more thing..." She said evasively, once again trailing off. I prepared myself for another shocking question.

"I did it." She said, I looked at her in confusion. She acknowledged my look. "The hole in the wall, I mean. When you and daddy argued, I took his hammer out of the tool box and made a hole in the wall. I'd hide in there until you stopped arguing. I was frightened! That's the only reason I did it I promise! I thought I'd get in trouble so I took the broken piece of wood and managed to put it against the wall so you wouldn't know it was there. I'm sorry, mummy"

I was lost for words. My little girl was obviously much smarter than I thought she was and I was amazed by her skills and creativity. On the other hand, how did she know I even noticed the hole in the wall? It seemed I didn't need to ask.

"I know you saw it earlier because I saw it in a dream" once again, I was stunned in awe.

"A dream?" I managed to mutter.

She nodded honestly. I was overwhelmed, I needed her to explain it to me but it was all too much to take in, not to mention the lack of sleep that we had both suffered.

I sighed and she returned one. We both just sat there staring at each other.

What was going on?