Boyfriend jeans

:-)

I lay in bed thinking to myself. And that's how you know it will end bad. Jaeden likes me? Finns rlly that flirty? But Jaeden likes me?! How do I go through with this? How do I act around him? Why does he hurt me if he likes me?!? Then the bad thoughts happened. He's ashamed of liking me isn't he? Am I really that ugly? That he's so ashamed to like me? He really has to beat me everyday because I'm that bad? Oh my god. I can't with people right now. I need something. Something I shouldn't need but I do. Something to hurt. Sting. Bleed. A cut. Not just any cut. A self inflicted cut that's going to make me bleed in a way nothing else can. A cut that is going to take away pain by creating more. A cut that will be the death of me because each one causes the words "just one more" to form. Over. And over. And over again. Until I have one to many 'just one more's that I have 'goodbye' and that goodbye. Will be the last thing I say. But that goodbye. Is the only thing I need. I pull out my rusty metal case giving off the dull light reflection of my now red shiny blue eyes. As the case lay in my hand, I felt as if I was holding my death in my own hands. Slowly I open the case it creaking as I open it to reveal dozens of shiny metal blades, begging for me to pick them up and slice my own wrist with it. So I did, I grabbed the sharpest one and placed it to my wrist, the cold metal sending chills up my spin as I slowly pressed hard on the blade causing it to slice a perfect line on my wrist. Me watching in amusement as the blood slowly beaded up causing a weird satisfaction knowing that I had done something I can't take back. Before I knew it I found myself causing more and more cuts on my wrist. I couldn't do anything but blankly stare with a odd grin on my face until I lost count "38, 31,7....3" I couldn't see anything, the corners of my eyes becoming a dark black until... BAM! I fainted. The next thing I knew I was in the hospital. I look to my left to see a bunch of black, out-of-control curls that put a small smile on my face,
"Finn.." I said in a light, raspy voice
"Air-Aira!" He stuttered a happy smile on his face.
I smiled back. His smile soon faded as he looked down at my now bandaged wrist
"Wh-why?" He asked, concern lacing his voice
I felt tears sting my eyes as I saw the look of sorrow and guilt in his eyes
"I-is it bec-because of Jae-Jaeden?" He questioned stuttering as he choked back tears
All I could do I look down at my unhealthy sized stomach with my bandaged wrist resting on top of it.
I glanced up at finn,
"Finn, can I ask you something"
"Yes Aira,anything"
"Ca-Can I stay with you?"
A smile grew on his face as he moved closer to me and sat down looking into my light blue eyes
"Ye-Yes Aira, stay forever"
I gave him a soft smile as he took my hand in his and started rubbing
"Aira I hope you know your worth, just because Jaeden says something,does NOT mean it's true." Finn started
I looked back down this time not being able to as my chin got lifted back up by Finns middle and pointer finger as he stared me in my eyes
"I mean it Aira, your beautiful"