Fournality

1. PILOT

Stue
I was dreaming about him. How he went missing. We were worried. But everyone in school never gave a fuck.

„You're already up?" My mom looked at me surprised.
„Yeah, I couldn't sleep well."
I looked in the mirror. I look like a zombie.

„Stue, did you take your pills yesterday?"
She was worried. I know she cared for her son but I'm not in the mood for trouble in the morning.

„I did. I'm fine mom."
„Ok, ok if you say so. I made you Pancakes if you want to eat something. Dad already went to work so you're going to be alone now."
She gave me a kiss, which I tried to miss, and went out the door.

My dad needed to be early for his job. He was a cop. He also was the one who told me about him. Indrid, my best friend.

I walked to the kitchen and grabbed myself an apple. I hated Pancakes.
I took my books and my bagpack and went out.

I love to walk to school. I don't like to be seen from others in the bus because they stare.     I'm the guy who has a dad as a cop and... the weirdo that was best friends with the guy that killed himself.

Yes. Indrid killed himself. It happened right before the summer break.
I wanted to visit him because we always loved to experiment about things that had to do with chemistry but his mum told me he wasn't at home which confused me because he didn't had a reason to go out.
I tried to call him but he didn't pick up. I just thought he needed some time alone or something so I went back home.

But then my dad wanted to talk to me in the morning after that. My mom was already crying and I didn't know what was going on.
He huged me and said: „He is dead. Indrid is dead, son."

After he told me that, my world fell apart. I had sleeping issues and needed to go to therapy. The pills that I need to take help me with my sleeping but also have bad side effects so I don't like to take them.
I still can't believe that he is dead.

My dad told me later on that it wasn't an accident. He jumped out of an building.
But the most terrible part is that I didn't even know why.
I thought about how he acted the couple of days before the suicide. Nothing. Nothing was wrong.
But I didn't asked him how he was doing either. I never showed interest in that.

Maybe I was it. The reason for his suicide.

When I saw the school in the distance I was afraid to go in.
Me and Indrid weren't the popular guys but after he commited suicide people started to notice me.
They only start caring about you after you're dead.

I remembered the assignment that I wrote for Mason. I finished it for him just because I wanted to distract myself and needed the money.
I want to buy a telescope. I loved physics and chemistry, just like Indrid.

I saw Mason at the parking lot with his sister Violett before he went to Parker.
I thought about going to him but that would make me uncomfortable.

I know how they are. They act like everything is fine but the truth is it isn't.
I waited for everyone to go inside the bulding which was a bad idea to be honest.

I took all my strength and opened the door. Suddenly I felt the stares.
Everyone was looking at me. Just at me.
I walked down the hallway to go to my locker. I felt like a famous person but without the famous obviously. They didn't took their eyes of me.

I saw Voilett looking at me with big eyes next to her best friend Hazel.
Then I went on and saw that one girl, i think her name is Jane. I always avoided her because she didn't seem like a person you want to hang out with.

Mason and Parker were at the end of the hallway but didn't say a word to me.
I opened my locker, put my books in and took out the assignment that I did for Mason.

I walked towards them. „Here. I did it for you. Like you wanted me to." I hold the paper infront of Mason.
„Oh, thanks man."
I felt how uncomfortable they felt.

I didn't payed any much attention to the people around me. They're going to stare anyway. After I gave Mason the papers and he gave me the money, I went to the chemistry classroom. That's the only thing that makes me happy right now.

The memories about Indrid...