Deception is only ones perception of it

Shmily

It's funny.
Without you I'm lost.
I'm stranded with my feet glued to the train tracks. You tore me apart with your unspoken words and I'm burning up from the gaseous mixture poisoning my insides.
You put them there.
Just like you lit the flame inside my heart knowing full well that you were the only one who could extinguish it. And when you did ....... you shattered what little part of myself I had left.

What I feel for you is so much stronger than what it once was. That's terrifying.
You hold a piece of me no one will ever be able to obtain.
Not to the extent that you have.
Parts of me cries out for you to acknowledge that I'm here again.
I miss you . I miss us .
These are the most dangerous feelings I have ever had to explain. Because for you I'd split myself open and allow you to dissect my actions as if I was a some rodent on an operating table.
Your scalpel poking around in search for answers I can no longer recall the question to.

Why won't you let me love the lonely part of you.
The part that aches with agony but you refuse to acknowledge it's presence. I'm hurting too. You knew that when you left.
You said I chose him over you but that's just not true. How could I ever choose a love over my life.

You were my bone marrow. The blood coursing within my bloodstream.
Did I honestly mean nothing to you ?

I'm selfish. I'm spoiled, and I'm reckless . But I will never tarnish. I will never disappear. I am here. I always was. But to you I could never amount to anything.

I was your shattered reaction and you were the element that held me together.