Good Intentions

Doubts

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong to Hiro Mashima

Chapter 9: Doubts

Natsu was making his way back to the guild after finishing his solo mission. Two days had passed since he had left the guild. He cursed at himself. He never did come up with that excuse for Erza, he had forgotten. He had spent most of his spare time trying to figure out this whole mess with Gray.

The closest that Natsu had ever felt to love had been with Lisanna Strauss. When they had taken care of Happy's egg she had made him feel both wanted and needed. He had meant something to her at a time when he felt like he was nothing. For someone who had been abandoned that was really gratifying. Though he did not share her feelings he tried to return them in his own way. Then all too quickly she had died and abandoned him to a deep sadness that had not healed until her unexpected return two years later.

In a way, Gray was much the same. Gray had chosen him to be his rival all those years ago, had given him a place of importance in the ice mage's life that no one else could fill. Natsu had been more than happy to fill that role. He was comfortable being Gray's rival and it was a lot of fun. He enjoyed getting a rise out of the ice mage, enjoyed fighting him until they were both exhausted.

That's why it was all so damn confusing. Ever since they had kissed, whenever he was around the ice mage he felt a need to be by his side. To touch him, to hold him, to kiss him. Bliss coursed through his entire body at every touch and warmed him up inside. It made him happy. He somehow knew this was love and he was determined to pursue it with the single mindedness he pursued anything he wanted.

Had he had any feelings for Gray before the kiss? Now that he had been away from the ice mage for several days he knew that at the very least he had a very strong... fondness. Fondness for the child Gray used to be and for the person he had become. Fondness for all the memories that they shared and a desire to continue being a part of his life always. He knew he would kill to protect him, would die for him if needed.

Were these things also love or were they just deep friendship? He did not know. He wished he could just trust what was developing between them but he couldn't help but think that if this was indeed love he would feel the same for Gray regardless of where he was. This was the part that scared him, made him think that an outside force might be involved. Made him question Gray's feelings for him as well. Was he having similar thoughts now that they were apart?

He felt an urgency to make a decision about whether he wanted to make Gray his mate. He knew that it was rather soon to be thinking this way but then again he didn't need to get to know Gray, didn't neet to court him. He knew just about everything there was to know about the ice mage. However, every time they were alone together he felt overcome by sensations that threatened to take away his control over himself and he did not like that. If he chose the Ice Pervert for his life long mate he wanted it to be a conscious choice. He would never wish to bind Gray to himself if that was not what they both truly wanted. It was really important to him that he get this right. He didn't want to think about what it would mean for him if he made a mistake. Gods, how he missed the days when his fists spoke for him.

He entered the guild quietly, no closer to a decision than when he left, and headed towards the bar to let Mira know that he had completed his mission. He looked around and noticed the guild was mostly empty. He saw Levy glancing nervously at him. She was surrounded by lots of books and she was wearing those glasses that let her read quickly. He smiled and raised his arm in a friendly wave. She nodded at him and went back to her reading. Gajeel was sitting at her table talking with Juvia.

When Juvia noticed him she ran up to him excitedly and asked "Is Gray-sama with you?". She looked behind him as though she expect the ice mage to materialize behind him.

"Uhm no, sorry Juvia. I just returned from a solo mission. I don't know where Gray is.", Natsu replied. The water mage looked at him disinterestedly and went back to her table. He realized then that he had not even given any though to how Juvia would react to the new developments. His head was beginning to hurt and he decided to go home to get some rest.

Erza, Lucy and Gray finally returned from their mission the following evening . Without Natsu it had taken them longer than expected to complete the job request and they were tired and hungry. They looked to be in poor spirits and the girls immediately put distance between themselves and the ice mage.

He knew he had not been a good companion. Knew there should be an apology in his future, but he couldn't help it. Ever since leaving the infirmary it felt like he had been punched in the stomach. Lucy and Erza had both attempted to ask him what Wendy had wanted to talk to him about but he brushed them off. He had not wanted to discuss it with them. Gray did not like the idea that he might be being controlled. He certainly did not want to hurt his friend or force him to make a decision that would irrevocably affect both their lives. He spent as much time as possible analyzing his feelings and actions. He tried his best to do his job but whenever they weren't talking about the mission he would become moody and his thoughts would once again return to his situation. The worst part was that he had not been able to come up with an answer that satisfied him and this made him very short tempered. He really could not blame the girls for steering clear of him as soon as they arrived at the guild.

As soon as Gray entered the guild hall he felt it, that strange pull that alerted him to his love being near. His eyes darted around trying to find him in the loud, busy guild hall. He smiled in relief when he finally spotted him. Natsu's back was towards him and he was talking to Cana near the bar. Gray made his way towards the fire mage. Cana was looking curiously at the expression on Gray's face but he didn't care. He had missed the Flame brain, had even missed his constant complaining on train rides. He had spent the last three days worrying about how Natsu would react when he returned and how he himself would feel when he saw him. Now that the fire mage was near the need to touch him was palpable, he moved quickly. When Gray finally reached him he turned him around and, without thinking about where they happened to be at the moment, kissed him urgently.

Natsu felt the pull of their connection before he even realized Gray was there behind him. He felt his body being turned around and his eyes widened as he realized what Gray was going to do. They were in the guild hall but still he wasn't sure if he wanted to stop it and when he felt demanding lips on his and he felt the familiar bliss travel through his body he could do nothing but respond. When the need for air caused them to separate Natsu smiled radiantly at Gray and said, "Welcome back, Ice Princess!"

"I'm not your princess.", he growled at the fire mage. Both grinned at the familiar exchange and hugged.

The guild went completely silent, except for the loud sound of a tankard shattering on the floor. They both turned towards the sound and that's when they saw Erza looking at them. She had dropped her drink from the shock of what she had just seen. Her eyes were large and panicked and her breathing irregular. She looked like she might be sick any moment.

"H-How long?... How long has this been going on?", she screamed at them. There was an urgency to her voice that they did not understand. And while this was not the response that they had been expecting from her they supposed that they should not be surprised. Erza was like their sister after all, it must be uncomfortable for her to see them like this. Lucy's expression, however, matched Erza's and that hurt a little.

"About a week now.", Natsu answered her honestly, "I was expecting that you would be happy for us."

Erza looked like she was trying to say something but no words would come out. She grabbed Lucy by the arm and dragged out of the guild hall quickly. Everyone gaped at the closing door.

"I guess not.", Natsu said sadly and tried to shrug it off.

Once the girls made their exit, sounds began to return to the guild. Everyone was surrounding them wanting to wish them well. Music was blaring and mugs were raised in honor of the new Fairy Tail couple. Cana congratulated them saying "Nice job boys, didn't know you had it in you" and began to buy them drinks. She immediately started asking all manner of inappropriate questions that made them amused but uncomfortable. Elfman, hugged them both and declared their union manly. Mira squealed at them and gave them the response they had expected from Erza and Lucy. Lisanna smiled at Natsu but he could see that it did not reach her eyes. There was a lot of light hearted teasing, along with some clearly uncomfortable looks.

Some of the other reactions were hard for Natsu to interpret. Happy flew over to them and gave them a hug, he uttered his teasing "You liiiiiike each other!" but it was half-hearted at best. Wendy kept looking at them with a sad smile, although she did congratulate them. Gajeel was openly glaring at Gray. Levy looked like she was trying to break some kind of speed reading record but looked up long enough to congratulate them.

They relaxed and stayed by each other's side throughout the evening. Now that they were together again all their doubts evaporated. They enjoyed their nakama's excitement for them and stayed at the guild for a few more hours to celebrate before they made their goodbyes. They had been disappointed by some of their friend's reactions to their new relationship but they tried not to dwell on it. It didn't occur to them that it had all been a little too easy, that there was someone that they were forgetting. They left the hall together hand in hand ready to embrace their new life together. Now that everyone knew what was going on it finally felt real and final.