and then there was three...

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James jumped on his flight back three day’s ago, but due to come back for visit after we were done touring around the US. So it was just Zack and her. It had been just about a little over a month since I had lost our first baby, so we have been active on trying again. I had my first period then it was on. When we were not out and about in town’s or on stage, We were in bed having sex. My period’s were the same time every month, so when I missed my period, I knew something was going on. When we landed in New York, we had a few hour’s to kill. I went and got Taylor and we took a walk to a drug store. Taylor was asking why we had gone there. I turned around to face her. “ I am late.” I said. When it clicked, She got really excited. “ When did you find out?” “ well I was due to start two day’s before we left, and this morning, well afternoon, I knew something was off, so that’s why we are here, I need to get a pregnancy test.” I said pulling her into the store. When we got them, we ran back to the airport. “ I couldn’t find any of the guy’s so we walked into the bar and sure enough, they were there. I walked up to Syn and asked him for a smoke. He asked me if I wanted a beer and I said no. I told him my tummy was a little upset. He understood and let it go. I sat down and took a drag and handed it to Taylor. A few hour’s later, our flight to LAX was called. Yes, we were on our way home. I didn’t get a chance to take the test until we got home. So the next morning before everyone else was up, I snuck down to where Taylor was sleeping at and walked in. Syn was passed out drooling. He looked so cute, I knew he was way passed tired. “Taylor, wake up, I am ready to do the test.” I said before looking up and seeing Zacky’s back. Oh fuck. Great now he is going to run his mouth to Syn. “ What Jen, What test are you talking about?” He asked. “ I swear Zacky V, You tell Syn before I get to, I will chop your nut’s off ok.” I said. He shook his head ok. Taylor got up and pulled Zacky’s shirt over and walked with me into the bathroom. I heard Zacky start snoring again so I knew it was safe. I sat down and peed a little then peed on the stick and waited the five minutes like it said to. “ Taylor you look first.” I said rubbing my eye’s. I was watching her when her face lit up. “ Well At least I get to be the first to know. Congratulation’s you have a little Synyster on the way.” She said smiling. I heard Zacky get up and walk to the bathroom door. “ Congratulation’s Sis, I am very excited for you, So when are you going to tell Gates?” He asked. “ I was just thinking about that myself, his birthday is coming up, so I could tell him on his birthday.” They both smiled. “ that will be one hell of a birthday Gift, Happy Birthday Gates, your going to be a first time daddy.” Zack said. I walked out of the bedroom and down stairs. I was so excited. I texted Val and Taylor to come down stairs. When they did, Val looked funny at me, Like she knew or something. “ Jen, why are you so happy, you are glowing?” She asked looking at me. “ I am just happy to be home is all.” I said. “ No there is more, what is going on.” She said walking closer to me. I pulled out the test. “ Ok this is why I am so happy.” She got a huge smile on her face. “ Oh my Jen are you kidding, really. It is about time something good happened.” I was telling the girl’s we needed to plan a huge party for Syn because that’s when this momma to be is going to tell him that we were expecting our first baby. It was about 10 am before everyone started to get up and moving. That was about the time I started feeling sick to my tummy again. I had a few time’s where I was feeling a little sick, but I thought it was due to the traveling all over. From outside, I ran through the door’s, past the kitchen, into the family room and to the bathroom and got sick. Man I can tell how this is going to go. When I got back to the kitchen, Matt was making up a pot of coffee. “ Wow sis, you look a little green, are you ok?” “ Yah, think I just ate something that didn’t like me, I feel fine thought.” I said walking out to get some fresh air. I was kicked back in the chair when Syn walked out. “ Hi Baby, are you ok?” He asked rubbing my forehead. “ Yah, I think I ate something that didn’t sit well with me, I should be fine here soon.” we sat around talking when Matt’s phone went off. It was the band’s manager telling them that he was going to swing by the house for a few to talk. I went up stair’s with Val and Taylor when he got there. From the sounds of thing’s the guy’s were up in arm’s about something. I didn’t need the stress, so we got dressed and headed out for the day while he was there. We went shopping for Syn’s birthday gift’s and such. When we got back, the band was packing up. “ Um where are we going now?” I asked Syn when I saw him. “ We are being asked to add a show to our list so we have to leave tomorrow.” He said kissing my forehead. “ Oh ok.” I said walking up the stair’s. I had laid down on our bed and fell asleep. I was woken up about two hour’s later from the feeling of having to throw up again. When I walked out of the bedroom, it was silent through the house, I was wondering where everyone was until I got down the stair’s. “ So Syn, let me ask you this, Do you want any kid’s?” Zacky asked. Well sounds like he doesn’t like his balls very much. “Hell Yes I do, whenever Jen’s body is ready, I guess that’s when it will happen.” I walked out before anyone could say another word. “ Well since we will be away from the house on your birthday, we will just have to throw a huge party somewhere else.” I said sitting in Syn’s lap. “ I have a very special gift for you.” I gave Val and Taylor a knowing smile. The next morning, we were up and off to kick off the US tour. When we got to our 3rd stop, it was the day of Syn’s birthday. So I took him out to breakfast. “ baby how happy are you right now?” I asked him with out him knowing everyone was behind him in different booth’s waiting. “ I couldn’t be any more happy baby, Why do you ask.” He said. I pulled out the long skinny box with the pregnancy test in it. “ aww baby, you really didn’t hav……” He stopped in mid sentence when he saw what was in the box. “ Are you for real? Really? So this mean’s… we are having a baby?” I smiled. “ Yes baby, that test is 100% real, I have another one if you would like to watch me take it so you know it’s not some kind of sick joke.” I said getting up because I did have to pee. “ No, No I believe you, it’s just, my life up until now has been perfect, now you are giving me the gift of life. I love you so much.” he said getting up and wrapping his arm’s around me. The next thing we knew, our family was surrounding us. “ Congratulation’s” everyone Yelled. We were beyond happy. The morning sickness sucked and Syn hated seeing me like that, knowing nothing would make it go away. It not just in the morning, it hit at night, it hit in the afternoon, the most horrable place’s we could be. It was relentless. Our next stop on the tour was my home town. So I decided to take Syn to see my childhood home. I had called my mom to see what she was up to. “ I am sitting at the house right now, just got done getting dressed from a shower, What are you up to?” She asked. “ Oh nothing just driving around with Matt, Syn, Johnny, Zacky and Arin, Hey mom, let me give you a call back later ok. Love you.” I said as we turned onto my mom’s street. When We pulled up, I jumped out of the car cause I started feeling sick. “ Come on guy’s they wont bite.” I said walking away from the car. My mom walked out and was so happy to see me. “ You could have given me some warning Jen.” she said giving me a hug. “ I wanted to surprise you, the guy’s have a show here tonight and I wanted to see you, I have some news for you that might make you happy.” She kind of looked at me and Syn. He had a huge smile and looked like he wanted to scream it to her. “ Mom, we are expecting.” I said with a huge grin. “ Really, its about damn time.” She said hugging us both. We went into the house and Just hung out with my family. Mom even went as far as pulling out the baby photo’s of me. I wanted to kill her. So I excused myself and went out back. I was sitting in the chair when I had felt sick again. I threw my cigarette down and ran through the door. Syn’s head snapped up when the back door swung open and I went running to the bathroom. I hit my mom’s bathroom and threw up. Man this sucked. When I stood up, Syn and my mom were there. “ This sickness suck’s will it get easier?” I asked my mom. “ Yes Jen, It will get easier, just keep something small to eat around you at all time’s, it will help.” She said as I was washing my mouth out. Syn walked me back outside so I could finish my smoke. “ I really hate seeing you like this baby, I wish I could make it better.” He said when I sat in his lap. “ I know baby, it will go away soon.” I said. We went back in to see Matt looking through more photo album’s. “ She was so cute as a baby.” He said. My mom agreed. We sat back down and relaxed. I was happy. Life had went from being the same old thing to getting ready to have a baby. Mom was giving us all kind of Idea’s. We had to leave about three hour’s after we got there, but I told mom that I wanted to bring the boy’s to the show tonight. I knew my little brother was not that into them, but hanging out with me he would love. He wasn’t home then but I could come back and pick him up later. When we left, it was bittersweet. We drove back to the venue. We went through sound check and went and had dinner at Red Robin. I saw a lot of people I knew and stopped and talked to them. I was hard being back in my home town. I saw a few people I didn’t want to. We went back to the bus to get ready for the second to last show. We changed it up a bit this time. Me Val and Taylor went out on stage and introduced the band. They played long and hard for this crowd, It was almost tiring to watch them play. When we pulled out to head back home, We all were passed out. I was used to the touring life, Taylor was just starting to learn it. We stopped a few time’s while on the road, but not for long. It was more to get food for the pregnant lady. I felt bad for everyone. The Manager called Matt and told him that the last show was in Huntington Beach so we could just head back to the house and the Crew would meet up with us later that night. I was excited to go back home. Me and Taylor were talking about the fact Zacky had asked her to be his girlfriend. I was so happy for them. I told Syn when we were sitting out back. I called the get into the Dr for the first time finding out I was expecting. They were able to get me in on Friday after noon. I was excited but Syn couldn’t be there due to a signing they all had to be at. I left about 11 that afternoon to make it on time. I was there for about 2 hour’s being poked and stuck, pictures taken of my growing baby. I was told I was about 3 month’s along and was due in February. I got the next appointment set and went on my way to the Mall were they were at. Syn was excited to see me, but wasn’t to happy because I had blood drawn. But I showed him the ultrasound photo’s and it was like confirming for him that his little swimmer’s did there job. When we got into the car I told him that the next appointment, we could hear the baby’s heart beat and we might be able to make out the sex. “ Well baby, I don’t care what it is as long as it’s healthy.” He said after he kissed my hand. My belly was growing at a healthy rate and Syn was getting more and more excited. But what I didn’t expect was the media watching every move I made. There were photo’s of me and Zacky walking down town, there were photo’s of Johnny and I, there were Rumors about the baby was not Syn’s. The rumor that me and Syn spilt because I was sleeping around with someone else in the band. It got to the point where I didn’t want to go out. Every time we had a Dr appointment, We were driven to and from. This was a very exciting time for our family and we were sick of the crap from the outside world. “ Damn is it always like this for you guy’s?” I asked one night when we were going to bed. “ Yes baby it is, It is a very ugly world out there when they don’t have a insight to our world, they have to make shit up.” He said rubbing my swollen belly. We had our 6 month check up and we finally got to hear the baby’s heart beat. Syn Cried. “ That’s our baby, honey.” At the start of our 7th month, We got to see the sex of our baby. We had put it off until now just to make everyone wait. We had decide to keep the sex to ourselves for a little while. We had also decided on doing a home birth and started going to meeting’s about that kind of thing. Revolver Magazine wanted to a photo shoot of the band and their wife’s, with a feather of Syn and I. Touching on the up coming birth of our first child. I was excited to do it, it would help show the world that The Haner family was going stronger than ever. So in December, We drove to Las Angeles. It was a long shoot. But they got some very intimate photography done with me and Syn. I think the one that really touched everyone was with me laying on the floor, with Syn’s tattooed arm’s wrapped around my swollen belly. The baby was moving around like crazy. Kicking every chance the baby could. It felt like the inside to my body had became a jungle gym for the baby. I couldn’t wait to see the photo’s. In the sit down interview, they had asked us what the sex of the baby was. “well I guess you’ll just have to wait and find out.” Syn said laughing. Later that night we drove back. The beginning of our 8th month, Val through a baby shower for me and had my mom flown in for the event. I had so much fun. Syn got kicked out of the house for the day. He looked so sad. We had cake and there were ton’s of baby stuff, I had no clue where everything was going to fit. Game’s were played and everything. I was nesting bad, making sure everything was clean for when the baby got here. Johnny had moved into another room so we could set up the baby’s crib and stuff in there. We were going to have a very dark baby, The crib was black, the bedding was a red. I still hadn’t gave away the sex and it was killing everyone, so they all started a guessing pool. Everyone was betting on a Baby Girl. Taylor was living with us full time so she was loving every moment. Zacky and her seemed to get more serious as the time pasted. It was sweet to see the love growing between them. Now I understand what everyone else was seeing between me and Syn. I was going in for a Dr appointment every week by this time. The nine month’s just seemed to fly by. That kind of happens when your busy. Everything was looking great on my end, the baby had moved into head down position and was sitting low in my uterus. Syn was putting together the baby’s nursery and just having a ball with it. My back was hurting more and I was finding it hard to sleep. It was hard to breath with the baby’s feet in my rib’s. So in turn Taylor and Syn would take turns in keeping me company when I couldn’t sleep. I was having false contraction’s off and on for the last two weeks. At about 7 am, On February 13th I was in the family room while everyone else was out and running around, I got this slight pain and felt like I had to pee. So while I was walking to the bathroom, I called my mom to see if Syn had picked her up yet. “ Um mom, where are you.” I asked “ Syn just got here, I am just now getting in the car, why what’s up?” I looked down as I got to the bathroom and saw a little puddle of water. “ Oh nothing, just watch out for little puddles of water when you and Syn walk in the house.” I heard nothing for about 30 second’s. “Syn, Jen’s water just broke, is anyone at the house with her?” I heard her ask. “ Um no, fuck, let me call Matt.” I heard faintly “ Hold on baby, someone will be there soon.” She said. I could hear Syn telling Matt to get home, that my water had broke, just mind the water on the floor. I was walking around with a few towels dropping them of the floor and was up the stair’s in my bedroom when Val and Matt busted through the door. “ How are you feeling Jen?” They both asked. “ Well it so far has not been the worst pain I’ve felt but it has gotten worse with in the last hour it took for you guy’s to get home.” Val walked up and down the hallway with me while Matt went around the house cleaning up all my water mess. When we got passed Zacky and Taylor’s door the first painful contraction hit. Val helped me count it out. That was the longest one yet. She kept her eye’s on the clock. When we got back to my room, I sat on my yoga ball. It was about 25 minutes later I had another one. “ Oh if this is what it is going to be like, I don’t want to do this.” I said to Val. “ well sis, I really don’t think you have a choice in the matter, didn’t you and Syn agree on a no drug birth?” “ To hell with no drug’s this shit sucks.” I said trying not to bite her head off. I had striped down to just a shirt when Matt knocked. “ Matt, If you mind being verbally smacked around, I wouldn’t come in baby.” Val said when the door opened. “ I don’t care.” he said. About 45 minute’s later my mom and husband came through the door. I was still sitting on my ball, Val had out towels around it and dried if off when I wanted to walk around. “ Baby, how are you feeling?” All I could do was grunt at him. I felt bad for doing so, but it was all I could do. It was about 10:30pm when Syn lit a bunch of candles in the bathroom and helped me in the tub. The mid-wife came about 10 minute’s after that. “Ok it would be time to check and see how far you have come.” she said while sticking a gloved hand inside to check how far I had got. “ Well She is half way there, we will be in for a long night.” She said to Syn. “ What can I do to help her?” He asked. “ Just be by her side, she is going to need you more now than ever before.” She said touching his shoulder. I got sick of being in my tub and I was wanting to walk around more, so Val and Matt said they would walk down the stair’s with me so I could go outside. I wanted a cigarette. About half way down the stair’s, I had another contraction. They had decided to take me back to our room. “ I don’t care what Syn has to say, We will put you by the window so you can smoke Jen.” Matt said when we walked back into our room. As the night moved on, I could see that he was getting more and more restless. I told him to go and take a walk, go smoke, go do something, I was fine up here. During the night, I did mange to get some cat nap’s in but it felt like it didn’t really help. About 20 minutes after Syn went down stair’s I deiced to walk around our room. Val, Taylor and my mom were all up there with me so he knew I was safe. When I was standing by my closet, another more intense contraction hit. The Mid wife was walking in. “ Ok Jen that’s right, breath right through it, your doing a beautiful job, I think I want to check you again.” She said. I was laying on the floor so she put on a glove and checked me and noted the time. At this time it was 3 am. “ Jen if we can get you walking around a little more your baby will be here by 6 am 7 at the latest, your almost there.” I started to walk around more and more. It was becoming a bit hard to walk though. It was about 6 am and I had not had a check in a few hour’s when I got this sudden urge to push. Taylor was asleep and so was Val. I hadn’t seen Syn in over an hour. “ Mom.” I said. “ What honey… Oh let me get the Mid-wife, where is your husband at” she asked. I shrugged my shoulders. “ Go and find Matt then get the other two.” I said. The most painful part was coming and I knew it. Taylor woke up and walked with me to my tub and warmed the water. The Mid-wife came walking in and I was kneeling by the tub. She put on a glove and checked. “ Ok Jen, your there I can feel the baby’s head, but your water has not fully broke, so I am going to get you into the tub and pop your bag.” She said when I sat down. “ no…. you are going to wait for Syn.” I said as he walked through the door trying to breath through the contraction. “ well here we go.” she said when I felt a gush. I felt a great pressure. “ Baby, it hurt’s make it stop baby, it hurt’s.” I said He didn’t know what to do. We both cried. It was going on 8 am with still no baby. So they moved me to our bed. “Alright Jen, I need you to start pushing.” She said. When I did, she counted to 10. “ Ok again.” So I did, I cried and Screamed. The pressure and pain was bad. I could see that Syn was having problems with seeing me in so much pain, and not being able to do anything about it but talk me through it. “ Ok hold on, I can see the baby’s head, Give me one more push.” I did and I wanted to scream more. It had felt like someone had lit me on fire. Syn didn’t know what to do, he had a hold of one of my leg’s and my mom had to other. Val and Taylor were up by my head. “ Ok Jen don’t push the head is out just breathe, let me clean the baby’s mouth out, Ok now, push one more time.” When I did, the baby came out. I hit the pillows crying when the baby took it’s first breath and started to cry. Syn was crying. “ Congratulation’s She is beautiful Jen and Syn.” When Syn cut her cord the mid-wife cleaned her, and weighed her. She weighed in at 6 pounds 4 ounces, 17 inch’s long. Syn was the first to hold her. Tiegan Faith Haner was born at 8:45 am on February 14th. She was beautiful. Syn gave her to me when he went to sign her birth record after I had. The mid-wife check me out then left. “ Baby, she is so beautiful. Thank you for giving me this gift. I love you so much.” He said as we sat together. I checked out everything. Her toe’s and fingers, Her belly button, ear‘s and every inch of her perfect creamy skin. I couldn’t be more happy than I was right at this very moment. Mom was telling me how proud of me she was and she knew I was going to be a great mom. Tiegan looked so tiny in her daddy’s arm’s. She hugged Syn and grabbed Taylor and Val So we could have to alone time with our daughter. While we were laying there together, Syn couldn’t stop crying. “ Baby, she is so beautiful. I couldn’t be anymore happier than I am right at this moment.” Syn said while he was running his head down my cheek to wipe away the tear’s. There was a knock at our door about an hour after she had been born. Syn was cuddled up with her so I went and got the door. “ Hey guy’s, yes the baby is here.” I said when Matt, Zacky and Johnny asked. “So are you going to tell us the sex of the little one now.” I smiled. “ Guy’s I would like you to meet Tiegan Faith Haner.” I said picking her up from her sleeping daddy’s arm’s. “ Aww Jen, she is so beautiful, Congratulation’s, what a beautiful name also.” Matt said. “Can I hold her?” He asked. I handed him the baby and he went and sat down. “ Wow, she is so beautiful, I wonder who she will take after.” He said. “ I don’t know, I kind of hope she take’s after her rocker daddy.” I said. About an hour later I was finally able to crash. Syn had taken the baby down stair’s so everyone else could meet her. When I woke up they both where there. I felt like I needed to take a shower. So I did. It felt so good. The extra six pounds then some were gone. I put on sweats and a tank top and went down stair’s so I could have a cigarette. They all erupted in clapping. While I was outside smoking, Mom and Syn were in the living room with Tiegan. I could hear her cry. “ Yup, she has her daddy’s lung’s.” I said when I stood up. When I came back in Syn was trying to feed Tiegan her bottle. When I took the baby to feed her, she settled right down and started eating, I Looked at Syn, “Well baby, I think we now know who she really wanted huh.” He just laughed, While I was sitting on the couch feeding Tiegan when Larry walked in. “ Wow she is a beauty. Congratulation’s.” He said. Syn was walking down the stair’s with a burping rag. “ Oh hey Larry, didn’t know you were coming over.” He said picking up the baby from my arm’s and burped her. “ Baby I am going to step outside I need a smoke.” I said and kissed him while handing him the baby’s bottle. “ Wow Syn, you are one blessed man. A beautiful wife, a beautiful daughter, a awesome music career. What more could one man ask for.” Larry said looking at the baby. “ I don’t know man, but I do know that I want a press statement saying Baby Tiegan was born.” Syn said with a smile. I was out back with my mom Taylor and Zacky. “ So Jen how are you feeling?” Mom asked. I sat and thought about it. “ I feel lighter, that’s for sure, my hips feel wider, but over all, I feel great.” I said with a smile. “ It feels surreal now that I have a new born baby to take care of, It’s not just me and Syn anymore.” Mom looked at me. “ Yeah, but from the look’s and sounds of it, Syn is and will be a good father, so if you guy’s have anymore, you will know he will always be there.” She said. Taylor and Zacky agreed. It felt good to be a mom. I had a beautiful Daughter, a wonderful husband and good friends to keep me grounded. Life had taken a turn I did not see coming. I was happier now then I was before. The week following her birth, we had a lot of sleepless night’s. The feeding’s, diaper changing’s, She was up every three hour’s. When I was down stair’s fixing a new bottle for her when Matt came down. “ sound’s like you guy’s have had a long night.” He said walking in. “ Yeah but it is all worth it.” I said shaking her bottle. “ I thought you were going to breastfeed her.” He asked when Syn walked in with the baby. “ Yah but she is having a problem with it, We are going to try again soon.” I said handing her bottle to Syn. We sat in the living room trying to get her to go back to sleep. “ here momma, maybe she wants you.” Syn said handing her to me. “ Baby go and get me a pillow and one of her blanket’s, I am going to give breast feeding her again a try and see if that will help her sleep, I know it would help me.” I said. He ran up stair’s and was back in no time. I placed her on the pillow and pulled my nipple out and tried giving it to her. She latched on with no problem and before I knew it I had milk flowing. Syn cuddled up to us and put his head on my arm. “ She is perfect Jen, I now feel like my life is complete.” He said. When Tiegan fell asleep, I left her be. Syn was sleeping on my arm so, I laid my head down and fell asleep. When we woke up that next morning, I felt rested. We had to take her in for her two week check up. She was doing wonderful. Healthy and happy. Syn damn near threw up when he changed her from her first poop. “Damn Baby, what have you been feeding her?” He asked when he came back down stairs?” “ Booby milk, why?” I said smiling. “ Because her little butt was stinky.” I laughed. “Yah I know, why do you think I handed her off to you.” I said giving him a kiss. This momma is not dumb. Everyone was so in love with Tiegan. Everyone was jumping at the chance to hold her and watch her. Matt was named her Godfather and Taylor was named her God Mother. She still looked tiny in Syn’s arm’s but I was not worried at all, I knew she was in the safest pair of arm’s known to man. Most night’s after we would put her down for the night, we would go down stairs and he would play around with his guitar. I was starting to shad my baby weight by the forth week. I would wake up at 6 am on the dot every morning with Tiegan to feed her, change her and burp her before giving her to Syn so I could go run. Matt came with me most morning’s, but this morning I didn’t take him. I needed my space and alone time to just think. My mom had went back home the other day so I was missing her. The boy’s were about to start filming a new music video, We had a 4 week old Little girl to take care of. I had a lot on my plate. When my hour timer went off I headed back to the house. Syn was in the family room with Tiegan playing Zacky’s acoustic guitar. Playing some tune he had made up as he went. She was sound asleep. He was such a good daddy, after all the self hating he did before she was born. “ Hi Daddy, how is baby girl doing?” I said when I walked in. “ she is sound asleep.” he said when I sat down next to her while Syn was playing. I ended up falling asleep leaning on the chair. I must have been tired. About an hour later, Tiegan woke me up. I bet she was ready to eat again. I picked her up and headed up stair’s.

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