Faded

Confused

Chapter 4

The whole flower peddles on the floor and the dozen roses thing was pretty romantic. but the note? It was pretty sweet but it made me confused as why he wrote it down instead of telling me. He was standing there he could've just told me I would've understood.

"Were are you young lady?" my mom said through the phone

"Sorry mom I'm on my way back now."

I said as I walked out of Shawn house. Before I could leave his drive way he pulled my arm and tucked me close.

"So are you gonna hit me or?" I cut him off with a kiss. this kiss felt as weird as it probably looked but it was nice. His lips were smooth they felt good pressed up against mine. I pulled away and looked him in the eyes as mine started to water.

"I loved it." I said connecting our lips again and the walking down the street to my house. I walked inside and I noticed my very angry mother sitting on the coach looking at me.

"Where have you been? it's 2am. I've been worried sick." she said walking over to me.

Before I could say anything I flew into her arms as tears at started to fall. She rapped her arms around me and ran her fingers through my hair.

"Sweetheart what's wrong?" she said with worry in her voice.

"S-Shawn" I couldn't finish

"Shawn what honey. what happened?"

"He-he has cancer." I finally chocked out. She hugged me tighter and I could feel her about to cry. her chest caved in and she moved her head into my neck.

"I-I'm so sorry honey. what kind?"

She said losing her grip.

"He-heart condition. but it's also cancer." she let go but keeping her ands on my shoulders.

"Sweetie are you ok?" she said whipping my tears away.

"I don't know mom." I weeped

"It's gonna be ok darling," she pulled me Ito another hug as I started to cry even more.

"Shhhh baby everything's gonna alright" she rocked us back and forth.

After she let me go I went to my room and changed into my pjs. I sat on my bed scrolling through my phone when I received a text from Shawn.

'Hey you ok? when you left you had tears in your eyes like you were about to cry'

'Yeah I'm fine now. I was just upset about the whole you having cancer'

'Oh I didn't mean to make you cry I just wanted to tell you, your the only one that knows'

'Well I told my mom about it to'

'That's ok as long as your ok now'

'Well I'm not ok Shawn, I just found out my bestfriend has cancer and that you might could die'

'Idk what to say to make you feel better because I know nothing I say will change what your feeling. I understand how hard it is for you because it's hard for me too boo'

'Ik you have it harder than me but I just don't want to see you go not yet anyways'

'And now... you see... how I feel... when you try to... kill yourself...'

'..... Does it really hurt this bad when you think of me dead?'

'Yes... it does...'

I didn't text back I was to confused. What if he was just making this us so that I would feel bad for making him feel sad. Or does he really have cancer?