A Room for My Pretend Love

BONUS CHAPTER: Clark's Story

Clark was the typical poor little rich boy.

As such, he had learned early on that he had no right to complain. After all, his life was the envy of others.

So what if his mother was too busy traveling the world to take care of him? She showered him with numerous gifts from her trips.

Who cares if his father was a serial womanizer? He paid for Clark's expensive education and credit card bills.

When Clark threw tantrums as a child, his nannies said it was because he was ungrateful. When he intentionally flunked his subjects in high school, his teachers said the same. Because his life was privileged, Clark realized he had no right to want more than what he was given. He shouldn't feel more than what was expected, either.

As for his parents, neither of the above antics made a dent in their armor of indifference. So what was the point? That was when Clark decided he was better off simply going with the flow. Why create trouble for himself when his parents wouldn't care no matter what he did?

Sadness and pain - both were emotions he had buried deep within himself. To ensure these stayed hidden, he built a happy go lucky persona on top of it all. That was the face everyone wanted to see so that what was he gave them. Only his best friend, Devin, who he had known since childhood, had an inkling of what lay beneath.

Year upon year of living with that facade in place had even convinced Clark it was his true self. The skin he wore was that of a hedonistic creature who flitted from one source of pleasure to another without a care in the world. He was kind to all and was loved by many, but the one thing he lacked was commitment. Because his privilege ensured so many good things were thrown his way, why would he ever commit himself to only one?

To him, it made sense.

That was until he let Ana Kim into his life.

When she asked him to sleep with him, he thought it was just another night of pleasure luck had thrown his way, so he took her. In her warm apartment with the faded yellow walls, he ravaged every piece of her she offered, giving back wave after wave of bliss in return. Just as he succumbed to the pull of his own release, she cried.

To his surprise, what started as quiet sniffles when he slumped next to her had transformed into full-blown wails by the time he managed to catch his breath. What surprised him, even more, was how the sight of her tear-stricken face pierced deep into his chest, making it throb in ways he thought he had forgotten.

When he asked her why she was crying, Ana Kim told him it was because she was happy. When he asked her why she was happy, she merely smiled. That smile stayed with him even when he had left the comfort of her home soon after. Even in the days that followed, a picture of that smile stayed glued to his mind.

A week after, he found himself back at her door, bursting with the desire to know what secrets she kept. Yet every time he stepped out of her apartment, he only found himself wanting more. Ana was a question that inspired more questions. Every time he shed light on the puzzle that was her, he uncovered more pieces waiting to be put into place.

So one night, after a month of sleeping together, he broke one of his cardinal rules and stayed over. He thought doing so would give him more time to satisfy his curiosity.

While they lay in the dark, her head tucked against the curve of his neck, she told him about her childhood. Just like him, she grew up in the cradle of loneliness, dreaming of the day she would be loved.

"Sometimes I wonder if there's nothing about me worth loving," she said with eyes that shone even in the absence of light.

The impact of her words punched the breath out of his lungs. She hit too close to home, she might as well have said those words with his own lips. He kissed her, not knowing what else to say. While he did, the sadness and pain he had buried started growing roots, creating cracks to make room for its shoots. The throbbing in his chest also grew stronger, until the only way he could find comfort was by holding her closer.

The next day, just when the sun started streaming through her blinds, he gently untangled her sleep-laden limbs from his body and scooted off the bed. Eyes gritty from staying awake all night, Clark swept his gaze over her features. A smile rested on her lips, while her long lashes fluttered every once in a while. A thick strand of her long, dark hair rested on her cheek. His hands trembled with the urge to touch her, but he clenched his fists and kept them at his side.

While she had succumbed to slumber, Clark had made up his mind. After looking at her one last time, he quickly got dressed and rushed out the door. As he took the stairs two at a time, fear fueled his steps. By the time he got out of her apartment building, he was running, uncaring of the car he left behind in a parking lot across the street.

Clark wanted, no, needed, to escape.

In his quest to know her more, he had discovered more of himself than he wanted to see.

He was unraveling.

All the nasty emotions fermenting for years in that dark, hidden corner of his heart demanded to be felt. With sharp nails, they clawed at the facade he had so carefully constructed. If he was to stay with her for a second longer, then he was bound to spill his guts.

That was something Clark Choi had promised never to do.

For people to like him, the poor little rich boy should have nothing beyond its shallow surface. Because if they dug past that, they'd eventually realize how underneath the gloss and the glamour was a child unworthy of love.

So he ran and he ran and never looked back.

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Scroll down to read the ending! :D If you like it, please check out my new book Leftover Woman! ;) I hope you'll love it as much as you loved A Room for My Pretend Love. <3

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