Secrets and Lies

Chapter 6: breathe

"Annie!"

I'm startled awake. I sit straight up, my hands fly to my throat and it feels like I can't breathe. I panic for a while as all I see is darkness.

I can't hear anything, besides my wheezing unsteady breathing and some faint voice in the background. I can't tell what it's saying, though trying to breathe is my first priority.

Soon my head starts feeling dizzy and I start seeing dark shades of blue and purple dance before my eyes due to the lack of oxygen. Suddenly hands reach out and grab my shoulders. I shut my eyes and brace myself for the attack.

"Annie calm down, breathe. Breathe. Just breathe," a familiar, audible voice says soothingly.

I breathe in deeper breaths of beautiful oxygen, slower each time and I feel my heart slowly relax. My vision gradually clears, yet I'm still faced with darkness. My head stops pounding with each greedy slurp of oxygen I manage to take in with every grateful breath of fresh beautiful life-giving air.

I make out the faint silhouette of someone's face. There is a delicate white light coming through the slightly parted curtains resting on his soft worried face. Breathe, I remind myself. I still hear the faint soft words he speaks and at last I'm calmed down with only the slightest bit of worry and anxiety lying in the pit of my stomach.

A switch being turned on is heard and a warmer light lights up the room. I look around slowly to remind myself that I'm here and not there again. He leans closer.

"Hey," he says softly, "you're okay. I'm here, don't worry."

"S...s..sorry," I manage to mumble.

"Sshh, don't apologize. The same nightmare again?" he asks, though he need not to as he knew the answer.

I nod a small 'yes'. I place my hands over my face. Wiping away the sweat droplets of worry and fear. I lick my lips and try to speak. Nothing in particular, but I had to say something,  just something. Anything to remind me I'm still here and...alive.

I close my eyes once more in search for my words, though I can not find a single letter. A tear springs to my eye and I quickly wipe it away. I sit up straighter in my bed and I look at Lyndon, who had simply insisted on sleeping on the couch in his room.

I look at him through tired eyes and as if reading my mind he gives a small nod of sympathy.

"It's okay, don't speak. Just try get some rest, okay?" he says with an understanding smile.

And with that I lay back down, turn around and pull the blanket over me.

I see him reach for the switch and soon the room is filled with a quite darkness. Half an hour later I turn to lie on my back and stare at the ceiling as I listen to Lyndon's soft heavy breathing coat the dark walls of his grey room.

I'm tired yet I don't welcome the sleep. I don't allow my eyes to close for a second in fear of seeing that face again.

For once I would like a quite night with no nightmares, no dreams, nothing. For once I would like to just sleep and to not be afraid.

I turn onto my side and stare out the slightly parted curtains. I stare into the night sky and admire the twinkling stars. Hours pass and soon I start admiring the rising sun and the colour changing of the sky.

"Morning," Lyndon's mother greats us as we walk into the kitchen. She's still wearing her black silk pajamas while placing the last of the pancakes onto the big plate on the kitchen counter.

"Sleep well?" she asks with a wide smile.

When we were finished with our homework last night we played some Call of Duty and I totally kicked Lyndon's butt and beat him every round. We ended up playing until half past twelve and Miss- Bianca had insisted that I should stay the night, after she scolded us for playing games way to much. I didn't complain though, it's always nice staying here. Their shower is ten times better than mine and Lyndon's bed is so comfy.