So in this story we start with the man named Jam (due to to the lack of a better known name) was contemplating lifes un-comtemplated things. Such as poo. Now I know this may sound strange, but as an omniscient narrator I need to tell you all I know... Which is everything.
.....................
He paraded through the mall. Taking fast slow steps as he snuck into the toy store. He was searching for something... But what? What was he searching for?
The night was late *tear out page* late was the night. He had finally found what he was searching for. A hyena, why a hyena? Well because he liked hyenas. If you like something you want to have it, you know?
So he grabbed the hyena and went on his way back to his home,stroking its soft pelt as he strolled, you know?
He placed the hyena on his shelf and headed to bed.
There he thought about the hyena. What should he name it? Ah, yes. He knew exactly what to name it. Shenzi! But wait it looks like a boy. No no no no no. Let's name it..... Red.
With a wish that Red would come to life (in order to keep him company) he went to sleep.
The next morning, when he woke up, he saw Shenzi. Shenzi was not where he was put, um, I mean Red. Red was now on his bed, "Hoot!" he yelled out. "Hoot! Did you move my hyena?" Hoot entered the room. "What did you say Jam?"
"ugh, whatever" Jam replied. "And I thought I told you to stop calling me Jam!"
"Then what should we call you? Swirly Diarrhea?"
"ye_ wait what?! Where did you get swirly diarrhea. Wait. Hoot did you say that?" Jam questioned.
"Noot. Tis wasn't me."
"There is a sticker of the poo emoji on your forehead." the voice said again.
"Hoot, I swear if that's you I will pluck you." Jam threatened
"Noot! Tis wasn't me!" Hoot squeaked.
"Tis was your toy!"
"No, it was your owl!" the voice said frantically.
Hoot flew onto Jam's shoulder! Hissing with his wings spread at the toy. The hyena spoke, it was alive. ALIVE!
"Ahhhh! Flipping Hell! STAY AWAY SPAWN OF THE DEVIL!" Jam screamed as he threw Hoot towards the stuffed animal.
All Hoot could do was flap frantically and a couple of sickly shills escaped his beak.
The stuffed toy, I mean Red, bared his teeth and growled. Well, it wasn't really a growl. It was more like a mewl, cute, not very loud, kind of like a kitten-sneeze.
"Awwwwe" Jam and Hoot chorused.
"Don't awwwwe me! I am a mangy hyena, I am not cute."
"Says the stuffed toy the size of a puppy and the voice that sounds like one of the chipmunks. Oh and let's not forget the growl that sounds like a kitten trying to roar." Jam said. "lemme guess,you can sing too?"
"I shall summon an army to destroy you... You... You foul fowl!"
"Oh, wow! I've never heard that insult before. You suck you hollow, miniature beast of burden!" Hoot exhaled.
Red hopped around, his felt stuck up on end his plastic teeth on show. He was convinced to show he was big and mangy and scary, but was put to shame when Jam picked him up by his tail and swung him vigorously.
Unfortunately for Jam, Red started to cry. "Oh no no no little fella. Please don't cry. Otherwise you'll make me cry." He croaked as tears built in his eyes. Jam brought Red close and pressed him to his chest.
"It's just, I don't like being man handled" he whined. And to see a stuffed toy cry is just weird. Because I mean it's a stuffed toy. Where is the moisture coming from. It's not like he has been recently washed. I don't know where it comes from. Do you know where it comes from. No? OK. Moving on.
"Well, you're another talking anomaly. So I guess, welcome to the family?" Jam squeaked as he looked at Hoot.
"Hoot. I agree."
