Connection

Part 1

There's not a feeling quite like the one of being alone. When you feel like there's not one person who understands you. You start to feel like there never will be that person who knows how you feel just by looking into your eyes. Even if you know that there is. Finding that one and locking eyes, then that powerful feeling of connection. Of knowing someone truly, being utterly vulnerable when with them.

That's what I always felt like up until that one, special day. I was in one of my rare, very happy moods. I was with my best friend since birth, Lily.  We were at the mall and got plenty of new outfits to start our senior year. Walking down the expanse of stores, we were laughing at an old memory of long ago. Back when we were freshmen, we were in the same mall, and Lily found a guy she found attractive. She was trying to think of a way to go up and talk to him, and I dared her to tell him she felt the feeling of connection  with him. She did without any hesitation, while I sat on a bench a little ways away, watching. She was telling him that as soon as she saw him, she knew it was he that she was born to love forever. He was confused as he did not feel that. When you connect with someone, you both know it, both feel the power of it. She was going off describing this feeling and he was getting more confused by the second, actually believing she felt it. Finally, he stumbled over his words saying he had to meet his friends at a store, and just so happening to point to the most girlish store in the mall. When he saw what store he just so happened to look at, his face got tomato red and he ran in the opposite direction. By the time Lily got back to where I was, we were both doubled over laughing.

As we were walking and laughing, I suddenly stopped. This feeling... no it couldn't. Most people don't have this happen to them until their at least in their twenties. But it was undeniable. Nothing else feels like this. It was a tiny spark in your chest,  growing bigger and  bigger until you feel like you are made of electricity, buzzing from the feeling of togetherness. All at once, feelings of dread, nervousness, and happiness consumed me. A few feet in front of me Lily stopped and looked back, noticing I was no longer beside her. She must have known. The same thing happened to her in grade ten.

She came up beside me and said in a low voice, "Is it time?"

I slowly nodded. I couldn't speak. It felt like my voice just disappeared. I put my hands in front of me and realized I was shaking.

Lily lifted my chin so I was looking in her eyes. "Calm down, Marilyn. Take a deep breath. Everything will be okay. This is exciting!"

"What if he doesn't like me. What if he doesn't think i'm pretty enough, or thin enough. What if i'm not good enough to be with him. Or he can't handle me?" This came out shaky and uneven.

"Shut up. You are gorgeous. He will love you, I guarantee. Now just look around and you will know who it is the moment you lock eyes."

I took a shaky breath and looked around at all the people surrounding me. there was a lot of people today, for it being a Saturday in a busy city. But then... my breath escaped me. There he was. Tall, dark brown, almost black hair. He had bright, shining brown eyes. And he had a huge smile spread across his whole face.

He was staring directly at me.

As soon as we locked eyes, it hit me full force. We have connected. I could feel a bond between us, like a string that was pulling us together. Before I knew it, we were only inches apart. I didn't even see him move, nor feel myself move. He was almost a head taller than me, so I had to stare up at him.

"Marilyn." I felt the voice in me. Though his lips didn't move, I heard his voice more clear than I've heard anything. It was soft, deep, and full of love.

It was a magical feeling, and maybe it was magic. It felt like thousands of prickles going through me, like having goose bumps when something good happened and you were happy. The feeling of having the sun warm your bare skin on a sunny summer day. It was like drinking a tall glass of ice water and laughing with your friends. And I felt him. I felt who he thought  he was and who he wanted to be and who he is actually was. The moment I was inside, I knew him completely, though I've never seen him before. His name was Ezra, and he was eighteen, two years older than me. He was an only child, but had cousins he was really close with and considered as his siblings. He went to school a few towns over from where I did, and this was his first time ever visiting here.

I could sense the deeper, more personal parts of him. They were calling to me, wanting me to know who this guy was, who I was supposedly meant to be with, who I was born to love. I resisted this urge. We would find out those parts of each other in time. For now, we could get to know the basics, and build up from there.

I nuzzled in the warmth of knowing I found true happiness. This place in which we were was comforting and perfect peace. I could feel that he felt the same way. Neither of us wanted to let go. The peace and comfort was interrupted by an outside voice. It was faint, but I could still hear it. I tried to ignore it and stay in this place, a few moments longer. He must have heard it, too. He was starting to pull back and break this connection.

"She's right, Marilyn. We can't stay like this forever." He was telling me this through our bond. I heard when you've found your perfect match, you could talk to each other through your minds, as long as feel where they were when you weren't together, but it was different actually experiencing it for yourself. Having someone talk to you without anyone else being able to hear made this all the more real, more magical.

I could feel his emotions through his words, and he wanted to stay as much as me. He must have more strength for the bond was broken. I was pulled out of his mind . I felt cold and empty being away. I felt like I was missing something.

He was still there, though. I could feel him, in this special place in my heart. We were attached now, an invisible string connecting both our hearts. Nothing in the world could ever replace this bond with him. The feeling I have with a person I just met, but know better than I know even myself.