Inaction's and Consequences

Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not ownanything related to The Vampire Diaries, TV show or books. However Idecided to have a little play around with the characters (I woulddefinitely like to play with Damon).

Elena woke up the next morning in her bed feeling extremelygrumpy. She hated herself for dancing with Damon, but only becauseshe was with Stefan, otherwise it had felt right. But in truth Elenawas angry with Stefan, he was lying to her, involving Jeremy and ontop of that compelling her brother without her permission. This was amajor breach of trust. Knowing there was nobody she could physicallyturn to, she got out of bed, went to her desk and grabbed her diarybefore making her way over to her window seat where she sat down soshe could pour her heart out to the blank pages of solace in front ofher .

Dear diary,

I know its been a while. A long while. I haven't needed... Ihaven't wanted to write this stuff down, but I don't want to say itout loud either. The thing is: I'm a vampire and I hate it. I feelhopeless, depressed, angry, but most of all, I'm scared. Part of mejust wants to end it, but then I think of Jeremy. I'm all that he hasleft, so I need to find a way through this. No matter what it takes.

The question is how to get through this without losing myfriends, for example last night I went to a party with Damon andBonnie so that Damon could teach me how to feed without hurtinganyone. Bonnie left us alone for a while and Damon showed me what todo. I hate to admit it but I felt free, I loved it and I was havingfun. But the problem is that Bonnie saw me and she wasn't happy. Iwas acting like Damon and she didn't approve. What if I am likeDamon? Will my friends will hate me like they hate him? Can I pretendto be the old me and be happy? I need to know which is moreimportant, being happy with myself or keeping my friends happy. Atleast I'll always have Damon and Jeremy, regardless of what choice Imake.

My other problem is Stefan and what he is up to. Why has hestarted lying to me again? He's up to something with Klaus and he'sgotten Jeremy is involved. I know he has because I could tell thatJeremy had been compelled. I can't believe that Stefan would gobehind my back and do that to Jeremy, I feel betrayed. But I alsolied to Stefan last night. I told him that I hated feeding whichwasn't true. I also didn't tell him that I dirty danced with Damon.Yes it was a mistake, I shouldn't have done it. But just because Ichose Stefan, it doesn't mean that I automatically turned off myfeelings for Damon. If I'm going to be completely honest, my feelingsfor Damon are even stronger now than they were before I turned. Thestrange thing is that my feelings for Stefan haven't heightened,which I'd have thought that they would have considering I love him.

I'm so confused!

Elena

Elena closed her diary, got up and put it away before she gotshowered and dressed. Once ready she decided to head out, but as sheopened her bedroom door, Damon suddenly appeared out of nowhere andsauntered into her room.

"Excuse me? What are you doing?" Elena asked, confusedas to why Damon was at her house.

"Where's Stefan?" he asked, ignoring her question,turning around to faced her.

"Okay, uh, good morning to you too." Elena repliedsmiling sarcastically.

"He's not answering his phone and he's not here, which youknow, big deal, we've only got a killer vampire hunter on the loose."Damon elaborated upon his need to know where Stefan was.

"I haven't talked to him yet today." Elena told him

"Hmm." He mused as he walked towards Elena and held outhis hand. "Give me your phone. Maybe he's dodging me."