I don't know. Probably the easiest thing to say. I used to say that a lot.
First of all : I am sorry,mom.
I am deeply sorry and I hope you know it. I regret everything. I was mean to you. I treated you like shit. I often said that it is your fault. I never appreciated you. I never said "Thank you, you are enough." I cannot remember telling you how much I love you. I am a terrible daughter. I always wanted more. You did what you could,but I expected more. I treated you so bad. I was so fed up with our situation. I blamed you when I should have thanked you for saving me. You saved us. Literally. It doesn't matter that he was miserable with us. All that mattered was that we were safe and not homeless.
But I was mean. I couldn't just accept that life is this miserable. I thought that my life is the worst nightmare someone could have and I couldn't have been more wrong.
I subestimated life. Maybe that's why it changed, it changed to prove me how foolish I am.
It's been three years since it happened. It took me three years to sort things out with myself. I had many attempts to move on but now I am more than ready to let go once and for all.
