The Girl Who Cannot Feel

She could, but she didn't. she was but she isn't. she was full but now she's empty. She felt, but now she is hollow, deprived of all emotions, lost all of her hopes, crushed her dreams before it began. 

She felt too much, hence why she decided to never feel again, she decided not to feel the happiness when the sun shines or to feel sadness when the rain pours nor the excitement when the rainbow shows or the love when looking at old couples in the park, and not the anger when the lightning strikes. She doesn't believe in it all. Love especially.

She knows that she wasn't good enough, she knows that she is not what her parents or the others expect. All they see is a cheerful girl who has the world, who has everything together. She knows that she is a disappointment, without anyone need to tell her. 

All her life, Charice Hoyle is told what to do and is pressured to do so, from which food to eat, to which friend she makes, to which subject she should take. She does whatever her parents told her to do, when she does something wrong, she is belittled by her parents, mocked, be called names. For them, she is always wrong. Freedom of choice is not given to her. 

She is tired of feeling. She distances herself from her usual environment, her friends and especially her family. This is better she thought, because when she distances herself from society, no one would have the chance to tell her that she is a disappointment and she would not get hurt. She promised to herself, no more laughter and no more tears, no more happiness and no more sadness.

 She became mute. The once the happiest girl in the school became the glum. Her parents gave up on her like everybody else and ever she gives up on herself. Seeing no point in anything, she became mute and no one dares to speak to her and she to them, until one day.

Charice is standing by her locker, getting her books out only to be thrown away by the popular girls to the nearest bin that they could find and walked off, Charice doesn't feel anything, she just accepts whatever comes her way. Charice just thinks about not being late to class while reaching out for her now rotten books. She sighs, cleans the book and walk to class. She sits in the corner of the room; the seat is empty beside her. 

It's English class, the one class that she can deal with. No one wants to sit next to her, afraid of catching the 'glum virus', everybody avoids her. The bell rang, sir Randell walks in and shouts to the class to settle down and be seated as he wants to introduce the new student from Portland named River. 

Charice looks up from her table to see that the boy was an Adonis, sculpted by the Gods, and Charice feels nothing, the boy locked his gaze with Charice, lifting one eyebrow. Sir Randell was about to announce his seat, when he told the teacher that he wants to sit beside Charice. 

River walks to his seat, with a huge smile etched on his face and hands moving towards Charice to do handshake, he introduces himself. To which Charice ignored and said to get away from her if he doesn't want to be called names and be deemed a weirdo. River shrugs and take his seat. From then on he made it his mission to make her smile.

The next day during math, River told the teacher that he doesn't have the book yet, so he has to share, and who do he share with if not the glum queen, Charice. He pulled a chair near her bringing a notebook and a pencil. He makes it his duty to make her smile because he fell head over heels when his blue eyes first met her brown one. 

He tried making jokes and make faces during the class, none works, only the teacher heard it and snaps at him. He tries to tickle her, but met with such a terrifying glare of 'don't you dare do it' from her made him back off. So he uses his last resort, because his classmates used to mock his drawings, he scribbles funny figures and writes funny caption for the whole class. One scribble after another, he doesn't give up, though the thinks that it will amount to anything. 

Oh, he thought wrong. When he drew the dog which looks more like squiggly lines, he was very concentrating on the picture while letting out soft grunts from time to time, he heard a small giggle coming out from the sweet rosy lips of hers. He is stunned, he stops his movements all together, snapping his head to look at the girl beside him, and he put on a victorious grin while saying that she has a cute laugh and should do it more often.

She immediately stops her giggles, emotions resurfacing from her locked chest inside her mind and heart. She runs out of the room with tears in her eyes, threatening to come out, not hearing the teacher screaming for her to come back. Ignoring the teacher's warning, River chases her out to find her in the park, under a huge tree, in an infant position crying her eyes out. 

River approaches her softly and gently putting his hand on her head, sliding closer and closer to her, providing comfort and warmth that she never felt when everything in her life is cold and harsh, meeting everyone's expectations. All her feelings that is bottled up and locked away resurfaced when River hugs her close, whispering the promising words of all will be well, and everything will be okay. And she cries and cries until she couldn't cry anymore while pouring her heart out. 

River promised to be with her for all time and to help her get through any rough patches ahead, to which Charice took his offer and relieve flushed over her as well as realization that sometimes you just need someone who does not give up on you when even you have already given up on yourself, sometimes you just need the hug and assurance that all will be well, sometimes you just need a person to listen to your stories, and sometimes you just have to feel, because not all feelings are bad, it can be very rewarding, like how Charice feels love and happiness as well as warmth to and from River, the person who does not give up on her when everyone else does.

The end.

A/N

I hope you enjoy this first one shot that i made, please do give me feedback as to how i can improve. I don't know why but i am really nervous about posting my first story in wattpad XD. Anyways, Thank you <3!!