Pitschen ma en gamba - Small, but powerful [A Band of Brothers Story]

Numbness

A/N: Again, dark and sensitive content ahead. And you might want to grab some tissues because this is probably one of the saddest chapters I have ever written...

Ella sat on the ground, the baby nestled against her chest, her jacket and shirt tucked over the tiny body for warmth. Even if he wasn't going to live long, she thought he deserved to be held at least once. Born into a place like this, he deserved to feel all the more love.

Gently rocking the infant, she began to hum, her eyes losing their focus as she got lost in thoughts and memories. The humming eventually turned into soft singing, her mouth instinctively forming the words to a lullaby she remembered from her own childhood.

When the baby boy's tiny heart stopped beating 21 minutes later, the brunette carefully laid the infant on his mother's chest.

"Es tuat mr leid", she whispered, her voice giving out. "Es tuat mr so leid."

Despite having been raised as an agnostic, she took the time to send a small prayer for mother and child. She asked any deity or higher power that might listen to take care of Louise and her unnamed son. May they find peace, wherever they are now.

Getting to her feet, the small girl took note that darkness had fallen. A peek at her battered wristwatch confirmed that she was long overdue to report back to HQ. Oha. She shrugged inwardly. Despite knowing that she was in for a massive scolding, she couldn't find it in her to care.

Checking in with the head nurse, the ranking medic grabbed her kit and informed Fox Company's commanding officer and the ranking medic, who had regained his composure enough to continue working, that she was heading out.

"Take care, Ella", Jeremy said, squeezing her shoulder.

She nodded. "You too. See you."

***

Just as she began to walk down the road towards the town, a jeep came her way. Squinting against the glare of the headlights, Ella frowned when the vehicle slowed and eventually stopped in front of her.

She took a few steps forward to be out of the blinding light. Blinking to clear the white spots from her vision, she recognised Lipton at the wheel.

Lip studied the brunette carefully. She looked completely exhausted, the harsh light making the dark smudges under her eyes stand out even more prominently. She was pale and there was a fine tremor running through her slim body.

But what worried him the most was the wiped-out, almost blank expression on her face.

"C'mon, Shorty, let's go back", he said, deciding to give her some time to sort out her emotions and thoughts.

She nodded wordlessly and climbed into the passenger seat. Lip turned the jeep around and steered it back the way he had come. Occasionally, he let his gaze flicker over to the young girl, but she didn't seem to notice it. Her eyes were on the road, a faraway look in them.

Ella knew she should be worried about the consequences of her defying orders or the impending dressing-down. But she wasn't.

Her mind – usually a lively place with thoughts and ideas flitting around left and right – was quiet, the noise of her thoughts muffled, almost as if somebody had stuffed everything with cotton. She just felt empty. Her mind, her body, her entire being was just numb.

Lipton's concern spiked when he pulled up in front of HQ and the small girl didn't react, but continued to stare dead ahead. Shock, his brain supplied, reminding him of the first-aid lectures he had attended. A tiny, dark voice whispered: Or shell shock.