Mended Hearts

Lesson Five: Healing takes another turn.

I blank out, standing idiotically before the door that just slammed shut in my face. I'm mentally crying at my feet to move it, dash away from my misplaced worry and humiliation, but they're pinned to the floor.

I scoff, but most entirely at myself.

I said the words that put us properly in our designated places. His reaction shouldn't have put me off. However he wants to spend his nights and days shouldn't--doesn't matter to me.

Then why the hell was I in his room?

"You're a fucking moron, Kiley. A fucking moron." I sneer, whispering scoldings under my breath when I finally manage to turn on my heels. My body allows me to move only when I give his door another glance, then I'm off to my room for a sleep I'm sure to be restless more than before.  

________

Body stiff. Eyes sore from strain. Mind churning anxiously. 

All that and it didn't stop me from opening my laptop when I decided that was it. I won't be able to rest if I don't get the white pills off my mind.

A knock sounds from the door the same moment I hit the Enter button. Whatever the purpose of the knock could be delayed, I couldn't care less. My heart pounds aggressively as the page loads for results. My chest stops rising for a breath when the page results display on my laptop screen.

Lunesta (eszopiclone) is a sedative, also called a hypnotic. It affects chemicals in your brain that may be unbalanced in people with sleep problems (insomnia).Lunesta is used to treat insomnia. This medicine causes relaxation to help you fall asleep and stay asleep--  

The rest of the words blur out as I zoom out of focus.

Only a sentence adheres to my conscious.

Lunesta is used to treat insomnia.

He's suffering from insomnia.

I slump back into my bed, sinking deeper into the sheets as I throw my head back over the headboard.

"He can't sleep." I exhale with defeat, feeling a weight be added to my chest rather than off it.

While I hold my face in my hands for minutes too long, another knock sounds, before a figure enters in, making me force my head up.

"Breakfast's ready." Grace whispers, the usual liveliness zapped away from her face. The lack of gaiety on her face alarms me, and I push my laptop away before swinging my feet over the bed's edge, sliding off.

"Grace, is everything alright?"

Gathering my crutches in a hurry, I drag my foot after the other as she waits for me patiently. She nibbles lightly on her bottom lip when I hold her forearm and turn her to face me.

"Grace, don't worry me. What's wrong?"

She shakes her head weakly and offers me the most feeble attempt at a smile.

"Nothing, it's stupid. Let's just hurry before they eat everything up." Her voice picks up at the latter, but it fails to cover the fact she's trying too hard to convince me. She's obviously not alright, for some reason.

Before I can call her out on her pretense, she flings the door open and helps me out hurriedly. Try as I might, I can't fully keep up with her until we make an abrupt stop into the hall entrance before the spacious dining room. The double doors are left open, and with a furtive glance at the crowd filling the room, a new wave of suspicion washes over me. It's not only Grace who's down-spirited.