wrong number | zayn malik au ✓

51

It was 11:27pm and I was on a swing at a playground alone in my black hoodie and grey sweatpants.

Listening to Coaster.

I remember spamming Zayn that I feel like sitting in a swing on a playground in the middle of the night everytime I listen to coaster.

Zayn.

Zayn.

"You can't like me. You can't fall in love with me. I'm not worth it."

True.

"I won't hurt you."

"That's the thing, Zayn! I'm the one who's going to hurt you."

But why am I the one who is pain?

"Because you're a dumb bitch. Oh my God why can't you get anything right?"

I tried. I really did.

"Look at you! Pathetic! Fat and insecure! I've been sleeping with different bitches every night but you still stick with me? Why? Because you are pathetic."

Stupid.

"oh my godness i can't deal with your fat pathetic nagging ass anymore. Stop calling me and asking me where I am and what the fuck im doing."

Nagging. That's what he said and that's what I believed.

"Listen Lauren, listen well, I'm the only that can deal with you. Only me! You understand me?

if any man would ever like you they're lying. They're just trying to get into your pants just like me. 

Whatever we had was a lie. All of it. So stop hoping that one day a man would magically falls in love with you."

Again. I believed him.

I thought by getting into this whole modeling world I can prove him wrong.

That I am not pathetic. But deep down, his words keeps playing in my head like a broken record.

You are pathetic.

And I push every man who's interested in me away. And it was working just like I planned until I fall for Zayn.

Zayn.

Zayn.

He's happy. Just like he should be. With another girl who is perfect. Flawless. And definitely not pathetic.

It would be a lie if I said that I'm not hurt seeing him happy with another girl. It hurts me. Every single time.

So stop hoping that one day a man will magically falls in love with your ass.

I know that Zayn's intention is pure. He's not lying like my ex fuck ass said. But I'm not worth it. I'm not worth anybody love.

I know it's no one's fault that they're dating now. The ego that I have and the poison that has been put inside my brain are.

I know that Barbara is the one for him.

Maybe you weren't the one for me, but deep down I wanted you to be.

He has moved on. And so I have too.