*WARNING, MENTION OF SUICIDE, STARVATION, ABUSE, AND SELF HARM*
Dear World,
Learn who I really am. I'm 15 years old, a freshman in high school, a person who's confused on their gender...
I'm bisexual, and I guess I consider myself gender fluid. I really don't mind being called a guy, even though my birth gender is female. A lot of my friends know that I 'm bisexual, including my dad. My mom doesn't know. I'm not sure if she would support me or not.
Very few of my friends know that I'm gender fluid. People think it's offensive to me if they say that I look like a guy, or if they call me something guyish. It doesn't affect me because I grew up as a tomboy and half of the time I wonder if I 'm actually a guy.
I have a boyfriend. He's 14 and plays baseball. Who knows about everything listed above. I'm lucky enough to have him in my life, let alone have him as a boyfriend. He's always there for me, and he understands me. Yes, we get into a lot of arguments, but what couple doesn't.
There is a lot of things that most people don't know about me, though. I have a lot of mental issues. Including ADHD, ADD, Aspergers Syndrom, OCD, Insomnia, Depression, and Anxiety. I have suicidal thoughts, I cut, I starve myself sometimes.
People make fun of stuff like like in my school. They don't understand how much it hurts.
I get bullied in school. Some people may not know that, but it's the truth. It's the sad truth called high school.
I was abused when I was 9. We left when I was 10. It's been going on 6 years, and I still have PTSD from it. My dad and some friends tell me to get over it, it happened 6 years ago, it's done and over with.
How can someone just get over something like that so quickly???
People tell me to stay strong and just keep going.
I try, but most of the time I fail.
I suffer from panic attacks. A lot of people have no idea what to do in times like these, including me. I sit there and cry it out. I just go through with it. I don't have anyone there to tell me that I'm ok, that they won't leave.
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I wasn't here.
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Now let's talk about good things
I love to read, play video games, play softball, color, hang out with my family, go to the beach, and so many other things!
One of my favorite things to do is watch YouTube.
Some of my favorite YouTubers are Markiplier, Dan and Phil, DanTDM, The Gabbie Show, Macdoesit, Christian Delgrosso, annnnnnd.....SHANE DAWSON!!! I can't think of any more right now. But I watch these people every day.
Remember, just be the best you!
I'm just like you, and I deserve love.
Love,
