across the universe

E N G L I S H

It was late at night and early in the morning when JongUp woke with a start. With the back of his sleeve, he wiped away the tears that was running down his pale cheeks, sitting up in his bed. He quickly observed the dark room, despite the few rays of moonlight seeping through the curtains, and noticed an empty bed, HimChan's bed.

After taking a deep breath, he put his feet on the icy ground, fearing, from the top of his 23 years, that a demon could grab his ankle and drag him into a dark and nightmarish world.

Still, he stood up, stretched out and noticed that DaeHyun was also awake, however, his headphones and the dazzling light of his phone prevented him from noticing the incessant movements of JongUp. The young man slowly approached him, being careful not to wake anyone up and knelt by his bedside, he put a hand on his shoulder, making his friend slightly startle.

"JongUp? Why are you already awake?" He asked, taking off his headphones.

"Oh .. I couldn't sleep anymore. Tell me, do you know where he went, HimChan?" He said, pointing to the empty bed.

DaeHyun sat up, "He left over an hour ago but he didn't tell me anything. Sorry."

JongUp smiled at him and stood up, "Thank you anyway."

The young man left the room as discretely as possible and began to pace the corridors in search of the oldest. After a few minutes, he decided to get on the roof.

As soon as he opened the metal door, an icy breeze hit his face. He stepped into the dark stairwell, his bare feet landing on the cold stairs and his hand gripping the frozen ramp. His body temperature dropped immediately and a shiver ran through him.

The roar of the wind and the whispers of the dark night was all he could hear. His lips became blue and his cheeks pink. He grabbed the ramp a little harder and his knuckles turned white. He hated the roof, the height, the lack of security, everything scared him, yet he knew it was the only place where HimChan could be.

And he wanted to be with him, indeed, he had this gift to calm him every time he has night terrors. HimChan was reassuring.

JongUp loved his arms, they were strong and reassuring. When he presses him against his heart, JongUp forgets everything, his body warms up, his pulse slows down, his eyes close, he feels good.

He found himself again in front of a metal door, the same as the first one. He put both hands on it and pushed as hard as he could. The wind blowing against it added some difficulties but he finally managed to open it.

A gust of wind slammed it against the stone wall, a thud was heard throughout the building and he finally put his feet on the roof.

And finally, he saw him. He was sitting on the ground, his head toward the starry sky, his hair flying in the wind. He approached slowly, shivering, and he finally sat down beside him. His clothes were pressed against his body, perfectly drawing his chest.

HimChan looked down at him, a smile appeared on his face, HimChan was happy to see JongUp. HimChan liked JongUp a lot, he considered him as his second half.

His alter-ego.

His everything.

He did not need to talk to understand that he once again had had a nightmare. He could tell, his eyes were bright and huge dark circles had appeared under his eyes. HimChan slid his arm on JongUp's shoulders, making him get closer to him until he was completely stuck to him.

And again, JongUp felt good, his pulse slowed down, his body warmed up and his eyes closed. The two boys were not really sure, either, of how they felt. They had never experienced this before.

HimChan looked up to the sky, he had a strange obsession for space.

Space.

It's big, empty, calm, dark, it has everything to scare him. And yet, space has bright stars and planets and galaxies and universes. Space has everything. HimChan loves space. He finds it reassuring and relaxing.

HimChan often compares JongUp to space. He loves JongUp as much as he likes space. He likes to watch him, to observe him, he finds him relaxing, brilliant, deep, beautiful.

Sometimes, HimChan finds himself thinking that he likes JongUp differently than space, he likes him more. His eyes wandered and finally they settled on JongUp.

His thin face, his soft eyes, his pink lips.

He wanted to do something, he had to, he had to be sure of how he felt, and especially what JongUp felt. His mind was confused, a real battlefield. He debated internally and it killed him not to know what to do.

And finally, he had decided.

JongUp looked up, he was hypnotized by HimChan. His brain had stopped working, his hands were moist and his pulse was accelerating. He saw him approach his face and he was petrified.

Their noses were touching, HimChan's breathing came to crash on his face as his was cut off. HimChan's eyes alternated between Jongup's lips and irises as JongUp's eyes stared at the older man's lips.

He was burning with impatience, he wanted HimChan to get closer and finally put his lips on his.

Those few seconds seemed like an eternity, he could not wait anymore but was too intimidated to make the first step.

Finally, after those too long seconds, HimChan crushed his lips on JongUp's.

Neither of them could think clearly.

HimChan retreated a few millimeters and anchored his eyes in his beloved's.

A simple smile spread his lips, a simple smile that meant so much.