Want You Back

"Haha, naalala mo ba nung dumating si kyla tapos..."

"Marv, this should stop. I mean, you and I never worked. This will never work. I'm sorry but you're crazy."

"Woah! Come on. All you have to do is listen and be there for me. What is not working with that?"

"That's the point. This thing revolves on you.  Not us. Thanks for the shirt by the way."

And he left me on that park bench where we used to enjoy each others company. I guess everything really changes. But there's a thing, he seemed happy that day while I'm suffering the excruciating and inevitable pain from heart breaks.

It is unfair. It really is.

Well, there is only one way to make it fair. 😏

~~~~~~~

I woke up and found it raining outside, terribly. It's Saturday and everything feels dull and non sense. Things doesn't make sense. Nothing makes sense.

Hell, it has been 3 years since you left me. I can say I improved since then, I don't cry on mornings anymore. Though,  I still can't feel my heart beating.

I don't plan anything on Saturdays, but it is my mom's birthday. Its a taboo not to go.

Hours later, I found myself driving home from the apartment I rent. Traffic as usual, my car exactly stopped at the front of the bench where you broke up with me. And I remember the felling of relief after what I did to make things fair back then.

About 15 minutes later, I found myself face to face with you. You're holding some flowers. I almost choked, but realized it must be for my mom. You're close with each other, aren't you?

Then you saw me, I laugh hard on your terrified face. I succeeded in making things fair,  I see.

I walk towards you since you don't. You're still handsome. We still is perfect for each other if you didn't quit on me. It's a shame.

"Hi, kamusta ka na? Mukha ka namang masaya kanina, at least bago mo ko nakita. Don't worry you're sort of untouchable for me now. Mommy's looking. "

"Marv. Ok na ko. Please ikaw na lang ang lumayo. Tahimik na ang buhay ko. Please ayoko na maawa ka."

"Jas. Don't cry, para namang ang sama sama ko nyan. I'm good as far as I remember."

"Sino bang niloko mo?"

"OK? I'm leaving you alone. Stay safe."

So there, he seemed terrorized though I don't have a clue why. Nah,  just kidding. If course I know.

I know perfectly why. The day he broke up with me, he lost his company, bank savings and his ability to walk.

He got unto an untoward accident. it isn't my fault but I'm the reason still. He drove to my apartment that afternoon asking why the hell did I do so and crashed on a post on the way home. I answered, because I want him back, simple.

  ~~~~~~~ 

The party's  great. People are dancing and enjoying their selves up. While I' m trying to get drunk. I've seen him. No matter what I keep thinking, his face still haunts me, I still love him to the point that I'd do anything. So it's better this way, me alone in the bar drinking and keeping myself busy.

"Marv. can I talk to you for a minute. Outside, para mahimasmasan ka na rin."

"Sige."

  ~~~~~~~ 

We decided to stay at the bench on the garden overlooking the sea and the moon. This place will probably our parting place. This is goodbye, that's for sure.

"Jas. I just want to explain myself. Nung nakipag break ka sakin, narealize ko ang unfair naman yata. Masaya ka sa desisyon mo, pero ako hindi. Narealize ko, ako lang pala talaga yung may gusto nung ralasyon natin, kung matatawag man yung ralasyon."

"I mustered all my guts para lang makausap ka ngayon. Natrauma yata ako haha. Pero seryoso, I'm sorry Marv. naging selfish rin kasi ako para sabihing ikaw lang may gusto ng lahat ng nangyari between us noon. sarili ko rin namang desisyon ang pagsama sayo kung saan ka masaya, yung pashatid sundo ko sayo kasi feeling ko mas safe ka sakin kesa sa taxi o kunng saan man. pero hindi ko maintindihan, bakit mo nagawang ipahamak ako?"

"That is not my intention. gusto ko lang marealize mo na sakin galing lahat ng mero ka pero iniwan mo ko, dapat lang na kunin ko yung dapat na sakin. I gave you that company kasi tiwala ako sayo, nung iniwan mo ko, para mo na ring sinabi na nagkamali ako ng desisyon, kaya binawi ko. hindi ko naman alam na hahantong sa ganito ang lahat."

"Honestly Jas., mahal pa rin kita pero ikaw na mismo nagsabi sakin na ayaw mo na. All I want is for you to come back to, because I'm always gonna want you back. Pero malinaw na sakin lahat, you're gone. You're far-of already, hindi na kita kayang habulin."

"Honestly too, hindi naman kita minahal, nasanay lang ako sa presence mo na napagkamalan kong pag - ibig yun. I guess it is my fault."

"Nah! Tapos na yun. Hindi na maibabalik. We both have our own Faults."

I gave him a glass of vodka or whisky, I failed to remember. I, also have my own  glass.

"Cheers for both of us. For the past, For Forgiveness, For moving on. Cheers!"

He drink every drop of the drink. Seconds later...

"M-M-Marv. god! What have you done? *cough* *cough*"

"You know that I love you, right? I only did the best for us. We belong to each other. You belong to me. that drink has poison that attacks your lungs. It will kill you slowly within 5 minutes. I only did this because I don't want you to move on. I love you. Goodbye"

I love him but setting him free is never an option. Just coming back to me alive or dying before my eyes.

~~~~~~~ 

The end.