English Homework - extended

I hope you burn

I Hope You Burn

(triggering)

I sat on my bed with my headphones on, blasting music and talking to my internet friends, my long jet-black hair getting in my eyes. I didn't have any friends in real life, everyone thought I was the weird emo freak that liked other girls. It was harrowing, but I was used to it. No one liked me, and I liked no one, that was just the way it was. Except for one girl, her name was Jessica, she was beautiful, but she lived in America, lovely and warm Florida, while I was stuck in dreary London. I looked in my mirror, my dark brown eyes staring back at me. I looked over my pale skin, I was often called a ghost because of it. I traced over the faint lines that coated my arms. I hated everything about myself back then, still do, but I broke the habit. Though I miss the feeling someti- stop. I promised Jessica I wouldn't. I promised her.

Jessica was beautiful, she had long brown hair that swept over her eye and was naturally straight. Her hair looked so soft, event through video call. Her gorgeous tanned skin. It was all so nice. While I had greasy, long, curly black hair that took forever to straighten. It was torture. I decided to call Jessica since it was 10 am for her. I opened her contact and it started ringing. "Hey Becky!" she said, smiling. God, I love her smile. "Hey Jess!"

"JESSICA!" I heard her mum calling her.

"YEAH MOM?" She shouted back.

"COME DOWN FOR A MINUTE!"

"I guess I have to go downstairs, wanna come?" she asked, changing her volume. I nodded.

She took her phone downstairs with her and hid it in her pocket so I could listen.

"What's up Mom?"

"Well, you know how work is always moving us around?"

"Y-yeah...?"

"Well, we're moving to London!"

"REALLY OH MY GOD YES I CAN'T WAIT WHEN ARE WE LEAVING?"

"Oh, I'm so glad you took it so well! We're leaving tonight!"

Jessica hugged her Mum and ran upstairs.

"AHH WE'RE GONNA MEET AND GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL AAHHHHHH I CAN'T WAIT!!"

That was 3 years ago today and I remember that day like it was yesterday. We were both fifteen then. We're 18 now and the moment I met her I knew I had a crush on her. I was finally going to admit my feelings for her. I walked into school and found her under our tree. The dark oak shadowing her, gorgeous, green leaves coated the trees and made patterns on her now pale skin. Today was our last day of school before we would be going to separate colleges, I was distraught, she would be staying here in London while I would be going to America. Ironic.

"HEY BECKY!!" She shouted, she was always super loud around me.

"H-hey um Jessica?"

"Yeah?"

"I um I- I like you..." I said, trailing off at the end. "M-more than a friend."

She gave me a look.

That look.

That look of disgust.

Then she ran away.

And everything crumbled around me.

I walked around the school, all my classes were a blur, everything was a blur. When lunch finally rolled around I decided to talk to her.

"Jessi-" Before I could even say her name she shot me that same look, and then ran. I lost her. I didn't have the means to go on. I felt this aching. This pain. I had lost everything. Everything I loved. When I came out to my parents. They did the same thing. I had nothing now. I walked home. Skipping my last two classes. I didn't care. I had nothing to live for.

When my parents kicked me out they were nice enough to buy me a tiny wooden cottage, then they cut every tie they had to me. I walked through my cottage door. I had had enough. I grabbed my matches, lit them, then held them to my wall. I lay down on the floor as I watched flames devour the beige walls that imprisoned me, my dark wooden roof fell, the beams holding it up crushing me. I felt my lungs fill with black smoke. I smirked, this was the end. My idol, Gerard Way said, "There is something so romantic about self-destruction and sabotaging your life, and taking a hammer to it." I couldn't relate to that quote more right now. Before everything faded to black I managed to utter, "I hope you burn." And then all the pain disappeared.

Love is a powerful thing, and you can't control who you love. Love is not a choice, yet so many people have their lives ruined because they love someone. People lose contact with their parents because they love someone. People lose their lives because they love someone. Love is not a choice.