The Scars She Left Behind

Chapter Eighteen

"You look like you've made a bad mistake."

I shut the door behind me before turning around. I'd rather nobody see me talking to myself.

"I did."

"You don't have to go through with it, Bry."

"I already agreed to it, Summer! I can't back out now!" My headache was multiplying the more I tugged and pulled at the roots of my hair.

Summer saunters her way to me and takes my hands from my hair into hers. How was this even happening?

"If they knew the truth, I'm sure they'd understand." She says softly but it only raised more anxiety through my being.

"No! No it wouldn't. They'd never look at me the same. I'm crazy." I exasperate. "They'd leave me, I'm sure of it."

"If you keep telling yourself that then yes, you will drive them away but only because you pushed them away."

I know Summer had to be some part of my self conscious and I was having a battle within myself over everything.

"I can't know that for sure." I look down.

For a split second, I think I hear the door behind me creak open but when I turn to investigate the noise, nothing. Maybe I'm just over paranoid.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Everything was falling apart.

"You can't keep me in the dark forever, Bry!" She yells gaining my full attention on her before she crosses her arms and paces. "Nothing stays secret, how do you think they'd react if they saw you right now? It'd be better to just tell someone."

"You're not even real! Why are you pushing me to tell them all of a sudden!?"

"Because you want to."

I can't keep on like this. Surely she was right, if they find out any other way than me telling them, they'll never listen to me. I'll be shut out of the group.

"NO!" I slam my hands on the desk across from the bed. "I can't tell them! They'll never understand?"

"Of course they wouldn't!" She snaps back from behind me.

In one swift moment, I swipe my arm across the wood. All the miscellaneous items fall to the ground with a splatter of noise. .My emotions were getting the best of me and all the alcohol was only making it worse. I was not in a position to be making judgment calls.

"Was that really necessary?!" She pulls me away from the mess. Without thinking I grab the nearest thing to me, a book left on the very same desk leftover from my rage. I throw it right through her but nothing happens. It was like she was a ghost, the book went right through her hitting the wall by the door. She may as well be a ghost, I feel haunted by her.

Her look of disbelief sets me off completely as I take in how ridiculous my life has really become. I'm an eighteen-year-old guy who hallucinates his dead girlfriend as if she never did die. I constantly talk to myself and block others away in my life. At this moment it dawns on me that if I go on this tour, this deadly secret would surely come out within weeks. No, days... This is something you can only shelter for so long, being confined will only make it ten times harder.

I throw everything within reach not aiming at anything in particular, I just needed to let my emotions out. All I could see was red rage mixed with the tears that fell in a furry down my face. I didn't know how it'd taken this long for me to finally break. I was broken before but now, I'm shattered — and I wasn't sure I'd be able to pick the pieces up again this time.

----

I open my eyes to an unfamiliar room. The light from the window was like fire as I quickly shield my eyes from the growing headache. I could barely remember last night and wasn't looking forward to the walk of shame out.

I slowly get off the bed and saunter over to the window to close the curtains before I go blind. I quickly regret my decision though as I step on an item right in the middle of my path and cuss out loud. I'm already suffering from a fucking hangover and to add this is just great.

Stumbling to the curtains, I shut them in a haste and let out a breath of relief at the dimness of the room now.

Blinking repeatedly I finally get to see my surroundings. The room was a mess. Broken glass and ceramic could be found among many small things like paper and writing utensils on the hardwood floor. I hadn't made this mess, had I?

"I would pick this up if I were you." I hear Summer say and I instantly turn to her voice.

"What?" I stare confused at her on the bed I once laid on.

"It'd be rude to leave it like this." She shrugs and then as if she was never there, disappears.

I sigh as I take in the room again. She was right, it would be rude if I didn't. I grab the first bag I can spot and start on the broken glass by the door, careful not to cut myself.

By the time I'm a little over halfway done, I hear the door softly open to reveal Reese.

"You all good up here?" He asks timidly, nervously cupping his hands together. I eye him skeptically as he never acts this way unless something is terribly wrong.

"Fine. Why?" I turn back to the remaining items and place them back on the desk.

"Nothing!" He says too quickly to be just nothing. Something big had to be happening.

"What's going on?" I gently drop everything in my hands to the floor and turn towards him. He leans against the wall and crosses his arms as he tries to put a neutral face on.

"I can't say." He says looking down, after a few moments of deafening silence. I furrow my brows and try to come up with some explanation for his weird behavior but I can't.

"What the hell is going on? Don't lie to me either." I step closer to him as he composes himself under my harsh glare.

"I- I need you to come with me."

♡