Sun breaks the morning clouds as I pull into another gas station, my eyes are bloodshot and craved for darkness. They stung every time I blinked and teased them with the thought of sleep, I pull the car into a parking spot and see Stevie stir, she yawns and flutters her lashes, the sun catching her honey eyes.
"Did you sleep okay?" I ask her as she stretches out and retracts looking over at me. She rubs her eyes and sighs slumping back into her seat.
"Where are we?" She asks in a mumbled groggy voice looking at me through her newly woken eyes.
"Somewhere in Arizona, I think," I answer, all last night I reflected while I took winding roads. I wasn't keeping track of where these roads were taking me. I didn't even have a set destination in mind as long as it wasn't a large city.
"You look like shit," She puts her hand over my cheek and rubs her thumb over my cheek. I didn't doubt her observations, I felt like shit. My eyes and body ached for some sort of rest, my mind begged to be relieved of my racing intrusive thoughts.
"That's just what I needed to hear," I give her a weak smile but I can't hold it for long. I slump in my seat and turn off the car sighing as she keeps a close eye on me.
"Harry, where are we going?" She asks me and alas I don't have an answer for her. How was I supposed to answer her when I couldn't very well answer myself.
"I don't know," I mumble feeling a wave of exhaustion finally peak and hit me like a truck.
"Throw me a bone here, Harry. You told me to trust you and here I am doing my best but you are making that really hard for me," Stevie speaks through a raspy tired voice. She keeps her gaze glued to me while I avoid eye contact with her. I knew this must be scary for her and I had told her she could trust me yet here I was avoiding all her questions that if answered would give her a peace of mind.
"It's not that I don't want to tell you," I tell her in a weak voice feeling how intensely my muscled ached for a mattress to lay on. My bones felt as though they would collapse on me at any second with the lack of care I had given my overall body.
"Then what is it?" Stevie follows up still keeping her eyes on me. I didn't know whether, to be honest, or just make something up, spin my web of lies about everything.
I sigh of a refrain from talking, my eyes wander to the little convenience store I had pulled up to. I rub my eyes and then speak when I conjure up what to say even though I had no idea what to say. I wasn't good at this, I had no clue what I was doing.
"I freaked out back there, I didn't know what to do so I just drove. I know that that wasn't the best of answers but its the truth. I didn't know what else to do," I told her seeing her eyes cast down as she fiddles with the little red threaded bracelet around her wrist.
"So then now what? What are we doing?" Stevie asks me sitting up now, even though it wasn't the greatest answers to give her it was half true. I had to get out of there, her dad knew who I was and I couldn't risk everything. I freaked out and all I know how to do is ride.
"We ride," I tell her as she shakes her head blinking a few times as if she isn't understanding what I'm saying.
"Ride where Harry? Where are we riding to?"
"Wherever we want, where do you want to go?" I ask her seeing her break eye contact. She shakes her head again and scoffs pressing her fingertips to her forehead.
"We can't just run away from everything," Stevie presses.
"Why not?" I shrug wanting to know what answer she would come up with. She had been living in a town that was only bringing her down, there was nothing to go back to. There wasn't a possibility for me to go back, so we had the open road and us, and that was all we needed.
"Because, what about our lives? I'm sure you have one to get back to..." Stevie says in a quieter voice that weakens at the wording of the sentence.
"We can make a new life. We can be whoever and whatever we want to be," I touch her cheek and turn her gaze back to me. "We have the world to ourselves now, everything is up to you,"
"Harry..." She said averting her eyes down to her lap. She was scared of all the unknown variables and whose to say anyone can blame her?
She was making a huge life decision, to go away with me on a path that could be unstable or go back to her old life. The choice was hers but I was hoping she would stick it out with me, I know we hadn't known each other long but I felt more with her than I ever had with Layla.
From the moment we met, she felt right to me. I didn't know how to explain it it was just something I felt.
"I know this is all a lot but I want you to know that whatever you chose to do, I will always love you," the word rolls off my tongue easily and before I can even process what I just said I see her face change. The word hits her and she takes in a deep breath to try and comprehend what to say next.
"I'm terrified... there are so many unknowns I can't even begin to count. We are completely in over our heads but... There's no one I would rather do this with," Stevie said looking into my eyes with her big brown doe eyes. She pulls me into her kiss and leans into the console capturing me into a hug. She wraps her arms around my neck and keeps me here breathing heavily.
+
"I never would have thought I would have left like this," Stevie opens up while we eat at a twenty-four-hour diner. It's 50's inspired from top to bottom, complete with checkered black and white flooring and scarlet red booths.
I cut up a few fries for Kyla while she hungrily grabs them and stuffs her face. Occasionally reminding her to slow down, I didn't want her to choke on anything.
"After what happened with Louis I didn't think I would ever leave. You are the first to ever stand up to my dad," Stevie takes a bite of her burger while I sip on my milkshake furrowing my brow.
"What happened with Louis?" I had heard the name before. I'm pretty sure she brought it up to her father during an argument but I didn't know what the details were on him.
"Louis and I had planned on leaving since we were Sophomores in high school. He wanted to make it big, he had a band and everything. We were going to run away Graduation night but my dad caught wind of the situation," she takes a heavy sigh and looks out the window to see a reflection of herself in the newly cleaned glass. "He threatened Louis. Told him that if he tried to leave with me he would hurt him. So Louis left without me, the best thing he could have done and I haven't heard from him since" Stevie reminisces about the painful memory and looks back at me after taking a few seconds. "I don't blame him for leaving but I think I was hurt because he never once tried to contact me. I thought I meant more to him, hell we had been together all through school! He was always there and then he wasn't and I was stuck in that little city all alone,"
"You don't have to worry about that anymore," I touch her hand that sits on top of the counter and she gives me a traceable smile. "I'm not going to leave me, you can't get rid of me that easily," I tell her seeing her beam with a light smile. Her dimples peek into her cheeks and I earn a little giggle from her, she was absolutely beautiful.
"That's one thing that I wish I had," Stevie tells me while I pull my hand away and take a bite of burger after awhile.
"What?" I ask looking over at Kyla who happily eats and doesn't pay much attention to anything else.
"I wish I was a fighter. One thing I know for sure about you is that you put up one hell of a fight for anything you want. I mean look where we are, all because you fought for me," Stevie compliments. I guess she was right, however, the path of a fighter wasn't without sacrifice. I had given up everything to be where I am and despite my happiness with Stevie the rest of my life seemed to crumble around me.
I was always on edge, constantly tired and in need of sleep from all the stress my body exerted. It was hard to fight but I learned that the things I fought for were worth the most.
