What's the point of continuing
when all I want to do is quit?
I don't want to live in suffering
I'd rather die in peace
I want to leave this fucking world
I want to leave all the bullshit behind
I want to leave the gossip
rumors
worthlessness
sadness
brokenness
everything
I want to just die
I just want to end my life
There's no point
I feel lost
because whenever I care about someone
I end up getting hurt
and I'm sick of it
I'm sick of crying
I cry for no reason
and I always lie to everyone
saying I'm fine
or that I'm tired
Everyone thinks I'm okay because I laugh
I smile
I act like everything's perfect
In reality
I only laugh to not cry
I only smile to hide the cracks in my soul
I act to the point of wearing a constant mask
I just want to grab the blade and end it
My parents fight
and yes, I know
others have it worse
That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to feel sad
That doesn't mean I can't have emotional breakdowns
I want to end it all
the suffering
the pain
the pointless things
I feel like I have no purpose
I always think about how
easy
it would be
to just end it with a gun
or the edge of a blade
I noticed, that I'm only still alive
because I know the feeling of being down
and the feeling of losing somebody
and
I don't want anyone to go through that when I leave
not that it matters
there's no point
I'm taken for granted
I get played with
Why can't I just be happy
I cry as I type this
my soul aching
my body tired
I'm done
I will end it
and no one can fucking stop me
I don't know when I'll pull the trigger
or bleed myself out
But I think about doing it all the time
and no one cares
because I'm supposed to be a happy person
I obviously have a great life
I obviously have a good school
I am obviously talented
That's all bullshit
I'm just past the point of
being saved.
