"Where then?"
"Not on this Earth."
Hattie Black is the daughter of Sirius Black. Growing up she never had a set home, her parents weren't together and that meant she had to change between houses all of the time. Even during school holidays when she...
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Hattie didn't reply. She didn't want him to know. She was pretty sure he would by the end of the night.
"Harriet, answer the damn question." Charlie demanded, a tone he never sued around the girl suddenly cutting through the silence. The man was in midst of shock, being scared and upset, he hoped she would say no. He wished she would deny it.
"Earth isn't exciting." She said, still looking at the sky. "There is so much more to explore, I want that. I don't want to be stuck here."
"Hattie, please...just answer my question." Charlie pleaded, his voice now quiet and on the verge of cracking.
She glanced at him, "The rest of the universe is like an adventure." She stated, "And to die would be an awfully big adventure too."
Charlie blinked a few times, pinching himself wishing this was just an awful dream. This wasn't what he had wanted to hear from the girl he saw as another sister. She had grown up in front of his eyes and she was still growing up. Death was not an option for her, not now, not in his eyes.
"Hattie, why?"
She shrugged like she didn't have a care in the world, "anywhere is better than here. And I'm pretty sure Henry the eighth and William Shakespeare are holding a wicked party up there." She pointed at the star scattered sky. "It's funny that, isn't it? People say that when you die you dance with the stars and the moons and the planets, then does that make an astronaut dead? Or are they an exception? They have a chance at death and if they don't like it they return to earth, but if they like it they stay up there."
For the first time in years, Hattie let out a chuckle, and not a forced one. Charlie watched as the girl laughed about death and how fun it would be to die. He listened as she described the different deaths she would find pleasurable for her to experience. "...the wightlessness you'd feel as you fall from the astronomy tower, now that would be cool. Like everything is free. And then BAM!" She clapped her hands together, "You're a bag of bones, lifeless, cold on the floor bellow. That's great! I would love that. Death on impact! I'd greet death like an old friend, I'd be the third brother in the deathly hallows story. Except the way the heartbroken brother hung himself, I'd do that too, I'd wait until I'm just about to go, my body hanging off the edge of the tower, my throat holding me up and I'd either cut or use a spell to make the rope snap, at the last moment."
Charlie wanted to throw up at the description. He wanted to cry. He wanted to hold her back tell everything would be okay, that he promises it will. But he couldn't. He didn't know if it was going to be okay.
He swallowed, the newly- formed lump in his throat making it difficult, "how long have you felt like this?"
"A few years. It's amazing what you can think up over the course of a few years."
"Why? What made you feel like this, Hattie, you were so happy, so care-free! What happened?" Charlie tried to hold her hand but she pulled it away, sharply.
"Life happened."
He could see the tears welling in her eyes and her trying to blink them away. Her hands were shaking and he wasn't sure whether it was from the cold or her state of mind currently. Despite her moving away from his hand, Charlie shuffled closer to her and encased her in his arms. "Please, please, promise you'll try and get better. I'll help. Even if you are at school, you owl me, I'll reply. You need me, I'll be there, even if I have to break into the school. I'll be there...Hattie, do you want to get better?"
She sucked in a jagged breath, "Charlie, I want to die. I have done for years. That won't change easily. Honestly, I don't think that'll ever change. I won't get better."
A tear slipped from her eyes and onto Charlie's shoulder. He felt the drip and tightened his grip, only to feel her bones through her thin clothing. He pulled back and looked down at her. She was sickly thin. Her bones were sticking out and her natural pale skin that she had inherited from her father's side of the family was even paler, and there were dark circles around her hollowing eyes. He also noticed the goosebumps on her skin.
He slipped off his sweater and pushed it over her head and pulled her arms through the arm holes. She tried to protest him giving her the sweater but he was having none of it. Bringing her into his lap he held onto her tightly. "You aren't full up when you are eating are you?" He asked her, his voice being muffled by her shoulder.
Hattie still didn't say anything.
He knew her answer.
After a few minutes of sitting in silence, Charlie felt her breathing become deep indicating she had somehow fallen asleep. He adjusted Hattie in his lap so that her legs were around his waist and her arms were over his shoulders. Struggling slightly, he managed to climb up and carry her back into the house.
Charlie entered the living room, finding Bill and Tonks still in there looking concerned. "Is she okay?" The latter asked.
He lied, "yeah, just star-gazing. Then she fell asleep." Sitting down on the sofa, Charlie carefully kicked his legs up, keeping Hattie on his lap, except she was laid down, and snuggled into him.
"Why don't you go and put her to bed?" Bill suggested, "that's where I am heading."
"Same here." Tonks nodded, "it's very late."
Charlie shook his head, "I don't want to disturb Ginny, I'll stay down here with her. Pass me a blanket would you?"
Charlie covered him and Hattie with the blanket after bidding his brother and best friend goodnight. He pressed a kiss to Hattie's forehead and rubbed her back gently.
