I lowkey feel insecure because all these girls posting selfies on snap chat looking so cute and it makes me so insecure about myself because I'm not as cute as theme and it's driving me crazy because they are all so beautiful and I'm below average in everyone else's eyes because I don't flaunt my body in everyone's face like the rest of the people at my school. I get looked down on because I like anime and shit like that, I tried changing my "image" at school too seem more "likeable" but that didn't work, but instead, made the situation worst and it's just slowly killing me because I'm just trying to fit in because it feels like everyone is against me. I know that sounds super selfish of me, but that's just how I feel.. I'm always avoided and hated on by people I don't even talk too, people in the trumpet section get on my case for being the only freshman that plays 3rd part and was in marching season, and to top it off people are getting mad at me for being the only black girl wearing tights with my dress because I want to be modest with my body, and people starting rumors about me like "only freshman who is still a virgin" and stupid shit like that. I mean it's true and all, but it's not nice to do that shit and at the fact they think it's okay to have sex at the age 14-15 is ridiculous. Okay yeah I ain't ever had a real "boy/girlfriend" or a kiss or even a boy hug me in a non-awkward way doesn't mean shit. It just means that I don't give a shit by these things and it makes me really upset because I'm always teased about. See? Unlike other people at my school, I actually do get insecure, depressed and yadda yadda.. But... Seeing all these girls comfortable in their body and all just makes me feel more and more uncomfortable because I'm not pretty, I'm not cute, I'm very insecure, I have a low self-esteem, and I have everything about myself. If maybe.. Just maybe.. If I dressed up to my school standard of "cute" I'll be liked... But that didn't work so now I don't know what to do now...
