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Rosemary woke up the next morning with sunlight streaming onto her face. Bucky was warm beside her and it took her a few moments to process the events of the night before. She couldn't believe she'd slept with the freaking winter soldier. She'd... had sex with her mission, and not only that, she felt like she was falling for him after having known him for approximately five minutes.
"Fuck," she whispered, glancing at Bucky. He looked absolutely gorgeous in the morning light. His long hair was fanned out around his head just so and the shadow of stubble on his chin was ridiculously enticing, as was his bare muscular chest. His long dark eyelashes fluttered above his closed eyes like he was having a dream. She wondered what he was dreaming about.
Her phone started ringing in the pocket of her pajama pants on the floor, startling her. She stumbled over Bucky's still-sleeping form to find her way to it, silencing the ringer as she hurried out of the room to answer it. Steve's name flashed across the screen and she was immediately nervous, although she wasn't sure why.
"Steve?" she said his name, knowing full well that her tone probably gave her away on its own.
"Hey, Rosemary. How'd the first night go?" he asked, and she snorted out a laugh without being able to stop herself. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Do I need to come over there?" Steve demanded, making her full-on laugh.
"I... no, you don't. We're fine. I, uh..." she trailed off, not sure what else to tell him.
"Did something happen?" he asked, and she laughed again, shaking her head even though he couldn't see.
"No, we're... we're getting along fine," she told him, and he was quiet for a moment, obviously trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with her.
"Okay, well... that's good, I guess... Don't forget his first therapy session is tomorrow," Steve reminded her, and she nodded.
"I won't. Thanks, Steve," she told him, desperate to end the call.
"Thank you, Rosemary. Keep an eye on him."
"Will do."
The line clicked dead and Rosemary sighed, relieved she'd made it through the call at all. She turned, startled but not totally surprised to see that Bucky had appeared behind her. His face was clouded over, like he wasn't sure what to make of what he'd just heard.
"Are you... was last night a mistake?" he asked, completely catching her off-guard.
"No," she replied firmly, shaking her head. "No, it wasn't."
"Maybe it was," he said, shrugging.
"Why?" she asked, and he thought about it.
"Because... I don't know how to... do that. I don't know how to maintain something like that," he told her, his voice heart-breakingly small and dejected. "I... I'm dangerous and I probably shouldn't... do that."
"Bucky," she whispered his name, taking a few steps toward him. She stopped right in front of him, angling her face up so she could look him in the eye. "You deserve happiness," she told him because in the short time she'd known him, she'd already become convinced that he didn't believe he did.
"What do you see when you look at me?" he asked, studying her. She thought about it for a minute, running her fingers over his jawline, tracing them down his still-bare chest and then taking an extra moment to touch every facet of the bionic arm.
"Pain," she answered honestly, watching as something flickered in his eyes.
"That's all I am. I'm pain and I'm murder and I'm... I'm a monster," he said, his voice far away. It sounded like a line he'd told himself a million times.
"No," she argued. "No, James Buchanan Barnes, that is not all you are. "You've done awful things, Bucky, that I can't argue with. But not a single one of those things were actually you. What was actually happening to you was torture, it was mind control, it was absolutely awful. You deserve that redemption, you do. You deserve redemption and you deserve happiness," she told him, and before she could even look up at him to see how he was receiving the words, his arms were wrapping around her and his lips were on hers.
She kissed him back, melting into him. He was warm against her and she couldn't believe how good his kiss felt. When he pulled away slightly a few moments later, he rested his forehead against hers and gazed at her with those bright blue eyes. She could've sworn she could see just a ghost of tears in them and she smiled at him, raising her hands to both of his cheeks, running her thumbs over them.
"You deserve happiness," she whispered to him again, making him smile back at her.
"I have no clue why, but you make me happy," he whispered back so quietly that she could barely hear him.
"Good."
She smiled again, standing on her tiptoes so that she could kiss his forehead. She had no clue how they'd ended up where they had so fast, but all she knew was that it had officially become her mission to keep that smile on his face as long and as often as she possibly could.
