A Coke With You (z.m)

preface

Having dinner with my siblings at a resturant is an unusual experience-- at least, for me, anyway. It can either be pleasant, with good topics and decent conversations-- or it can be slightly awkward, with the conversations leaning towards the peculiar behavior that I seem to portray.

I, for one, don't really believe myself to be peculiar. Just a bit different. But my siblings-- they have a whole different idea on the subject.

Unfortunately, today was one of those days when I had skipped classes. Again, so my brother and sister were curious, and... well... surprised.

"We missed you during classes again today, Ali," James said lightly, but there was a buring curiosity behind his words.

I winced, unhappy that this topic had once again, been brought up. I should have expected this, of course. My siblings, were two very enthusiastic writers. And it didn't help that they were twins, so they could basically understand each other silently without me knowing.

And of course, my daily disappearances were an excitement for them. They weren't upset that I ditched them and classes for something else, they were confused. And even though I loved Tina and James to bits, I didn't... they didn't really understand me that much.

"Had something else to tend to," I mumbled, and prayed with all my might that they would let the topic go.

"That's what you always say," Tina said with a roll of her eyes.

I sighed, knowing that they knew I was hiding something from them. It was kind of obvious. But it was really stupid of me, ditching high school during my senior year, and I had to get into college later.

I was an art enthusiast, constantly ditching school for art galleries and show displays. I guess I was an artist as well, but I enjoyed leaning in, near the portraits and observing the strokes of the painbrush. Some were rough, some were soft and blended, and some were linings....

I also loved to see the painted faces, and see every artists' style and unique feature. Some artists would hide their names in the masterpeice, and some would draw a blue dot every single time somewhere.

"I just... I'll catch up with my classes. Don't worry about me, you guys. At least, not tonight. We are here in a nice resturant and all, so.. let's enjoy!" I cheered in an overly fake tone.

The two of them looked at me skeptically, but let it drop, as if they didn't believe a word I had said. I couldn't really blame them, I had gone back on a lot of the promises I made, especially when it came to school.

James started a different conversation about the school's new gymnasium, and I sighed in relief when Tina replied to the topic change eagerly.

I was off the hook. At least, for now.

I stirred my iced water with a straw, staring at the swirling liquid with an expression of boredom. There weren't many people in the little cafe, we had chosen something light and mild for tonight. Actually, that was my plan, because whenever we went to Olive Garden or some type of popular resturant, my brother and sister would end up just discussing the things going on around them.

It was sort of in their blood, being a bunch of writers. Everything and everyone interested them, they were literally just waiting for a new story. They weren't really gossipers, seeing that they never spread rumors, but they did like a good story.

The rest of the night passed on with ease, I nodded and smiled every now and then to act as if I was listening. We didn't get to do this much, and I didn't know if I was glad or upset about it.

James insisted on paying, so Tina and I sat in silence as he went to the register. I played with a napkin, avoiding Tina's gaze which I knew was on me.

"Ali. I know you are hiding something," She said, leaning towards me. I pursed my lips, unsure of what to say.

"And I want you to know-- you should tell us. We only want what is best for our younger sister," She said, and somehow I knew she was smiling. I looked up, and sure enough, I was right.

Tina was smiling, waiting for me to tell her. But I couldn't. I knew she wanted the best for me, I knew she cared, but she didn't... understand. No one seemed to.

My family is a bunch of English majors. Most of them were journalists, and since Tina and James were following in their paths, they were the star siblings of the family. They got all the attention, not me.

I hadn't told anyone about my dream, because no one would care. They would disown me. I didn't want that-- they were my family.

"I know. Don't worry about me, Tina," I said, trying to be reassuring. It didn't work.

Tina just nodded, and turned her head back to watch James. I sighed, knowing that I had upset her.

"Tina, I do trust you--"

"Then why can't you tell me? I just want to be your sister. I'm supposed to look after you, but you don't let me in, Alison!" She burst out, and my eyes widened in shock. Shit was real when Tina used my real name.

"It's complicated," I muttered, wishing that I had just dropped it when Tina had instead of starting another fight.

"Everything seems to be complicated around you, Ali." Tina replied, and smiled brightly at James when he reached the table. We all stood up, and walked out of the cafe together. Tina and James were talking animatedly, laughing and enthusiastically sharing stories.

I sighed, feeling miserable. I didn't get to see my siblings often, and would begin seeing them even less when they moved out to college. And tonight-- I was supposed to have enjoyed my time with them.

But all I ever seemed to do was ruin things. I ruined tonight, and unwittingly, I had been ruining our sibling relationship over the past couple of years.

Just because of a passion. Right now, it seems incredibly stupid-- risking everything just to be happy.

But when I was surrounded by art, when I was admiring the pieces of works or painting my own-- my whole perspective changed. Nothing but art mattered anymore, only the strokes and subtle changes in color did.

Only the anger, the despair, the delight in the paintings, the emotions that they portrayed seemed to be important, and at certain times-- I knew exactly who I was, and who I wanted to be.

But with my family-- my dreams didn't feel like something they would approve of.

And sometimes, I felt like that was all that mattered.

Their approval.

~~~~~~

New story, guys! Actually, its a short story. But I'll be working on this for the rest of Forever Belle and the start of Fragrant Jasmine.

Please don't be silent! Vote, comment, share? Your comments and votes make my day :)

~~Sara