He's Not Coming Back

Journey to Forget (Last Day)

To the guy whom I once loved,

Soooo, I'm ending this untold thoughts here. Some things are better off left unsaid.

These past few months went tough for me. It was hard, it was sooo hard to see him everyday knowing that he's not a part of me anymore. Here's a fun fact, we weren't official, we were never an item which made it very difficult for me because I have nothing to hold on, there was never an us.

I became crazy over that guy that I forgot how to love myself, but that's what you always do when you love,right? You give your all. It was a torture for me, I kept on reminiscing about our moments, the fights, the jealousy.

My heart refused to let go but I need to. It's like we were,then we weren't. Once you love someone deeply and honestly, you will never be able to unlove them. Most of the times, I ask myself, is this pain all worth it? Indeed it is. Falling inlove is not a sin, it is actually one of the occurrences in life. When you love, you gotta be willing to take great circumstances.

The night he ended it, my mind went blank, my heart pounded hard, I can't endure the pain, it shocked me, the situation shocked me. So that's it? He's really done with me? I went nuts for days, doing things that I shouldn't be doing. I went crazy as hell. But then again,there's my friends, they became my strength, my light. I wanted to thank them, they saved my life. Specially my sweet beautiful little Aenah. They helped me forget, they make me laugh, they always add sprinkles into my mood. Ahhh!Can't imagine life without them.

The past can be forgotten but it can never be truly erased. I wasn't okay, up until this day. I just woke up feeling refreshed and yeah...happy as fuck!

After he was done with me, I began witting about him. Everyday, I wrote and wrote and wrote. It was all about him, I wrote how he rocked my world, how he made me laugh my ass off, how he drugged my entire being. But now that I'm moving on, I don't picture him in the same way anymore. He's not extraordinary for me now. He was just a guy. A guy who doesn't want my existence, and that is that.

It was time for me to get up and fix my fucked up self. I tried to be fine. Besides,I'm still young at the age of 16(don't judge my age,i know I'm still young but love knows no age, kapag tinamaan ka, tinamaan ka!) But there was this thing inside me that keeps on missing him. Is it his warm hugs? Is it his delicate laugh?What?!Whuuuttt!?It's making me crazy. Days and days passed by,I started getting used to the feeling of him being around me without us talking, but I kept on missing him though. I still repeat the things he said to me.

RMB was a big rock who shook my world, I'm glad he did,because I was genuinely happy when I smile at him. I'm happy for his achievements, I would always support him silently and scream his name secretly while he's playing basketball.

RMB,
I loved you,babe. And you will always have a place in my heart. I'm so proud of you. Thank you so much for making me laugh with your silly jokes. I adored you like how Quintin adored Margo, I treasured you like how Betty treasured Jughead, I loved you like how Kathryn loved Daniel. Thank you so much for everything.

Writing this book helped me to forget. This book means a lot to me. I loved this book like how I loved him. But I'm getting better and better each passing day, I can talk to him again casually, I even call him 'Kuya' I find it funny but who cares, anyway.

Love is a trap. Love until your heart explodes in your chest. Love 'till it hurts. When you love, you will jump with your eyes closed. You will risk.But when you love,you always win. Because when you love, it will make your heart stronger. I am ready, I will let this one go. It's time for me to be happy again.

To my readers, sorry but still not revealing RMB's full name. But thank you,thank you for ranting and giving me advices. I love you all so much. You guys are a big part of this journey. For those who hates me for keeping RMB a secret, thank you, atleast you are curious haha! Though I'm leaving you a message.

"Love painfully,honestly and fiercely."

This is A Tribunalo,signing out!Ciao Adioś, im done!Peace!