Dark Path to Heaven [Demon Romance]

Chapter 32

Chapter Music: "Kaisou" from the BL game "Lamento -Beyond the Void-"

Only then did I realize the pain in its entirety. I was in no condition to speak but even if I could, I hadn't the faintest idea of what I could say. If I insisted, he would try to force me again. If I gave up, I would lie to both of us. In either case, it was impossible for me to go back and a part of me was grateful to him for relieving me from the responsibility to make my own decisions. If his future proved to be... unfortunate, he would never allow me to blame myself.

My heart clenched at this thought.

All of a sudden, I became aware that he hadn't only released my neck, but the rest of my body as well. I could freely move. Running away would, of course, be a foolish act on my behalf. So I only had one option.

Gathering all my remaining strength and praying that he would not try to impede me in any way, I leaped at him, locking my arms around his torso. And, quite surprisingly, he kept still for the whole time. He neither pushed me away nor did he hug me back. Running away was my objective after all. Had he anticipated I had given up trying?

My eyes started tearing up. In the end, the only one who could have a say in this was Astar himself.

We remained like this before I trusted my voice enough to form a few words:

"I'm not sure what you're trying to achieve with this but know that I'm only staying because I have no other choice." And because my longing for you can't seem to disappear.

He didn't move. What's going on in your mind, Astar? Have I disappointed you somehow?

I pushed myself to speak more, holding him even more tightly as soon as a little more of my strength returned:

"You don't hate me, do you Astar?" I wept, unable to believe how pathetic I sounded, "The only difference between us is our power. Our goal is the same, but I have no way to protect you."

"Astaroth," he corrected a few moments later, that being his only reaction.

Huh?

"Call me by my true name. You'll soon find out who I really am anyway."

~~~

"Of course you're welcome in my room. Please don't cry," I tried to console my friend who'd contacted me as soon as he found out what had happened.

"I'm so sorry Sophia! I didn't realize how bad things were! I'm so thankful I messed up!"

I couldn't help but smile at the irony of his statement "What do you mean?"

"When Mr. Stanwood and you left, I ran to Master's apartment in order to make him stay there. That's how foolish I am!"

"Now, stop accusing yourself and tell me what happened," I tried to urge him merrily.

Deep inside I wasn't that happy, though. I was forced to abandon the safety of this way of life and my best friend in the academy. I was curious about the outside world and about what Astar – or better, Astaroth– would prove to be. However, maybe I didn't want to ever find out if that meant that it would put his life in danger.

That was what preoccupied me the most and not his cruel nature. Perhaps that was masochistic of me, but I couldn't help craving his love, regardless –or even because– of how perverted that was.

"Are you thinking of him?" Merihem asked me then, with a blissful smile.

"Isn't it obvious?" I couldn't erase the bittersweet smile on my face. "Look at you though. You're already feeling better."