I'm not perfect(oneshot)

I'm not perfect

I already told you.

I am not perfect, I'm not the perfect girl.

"Do you think she's the one?" I smiled in replied.

Behind those smiles have the horrifying sadness that hoping that you will see me.

I am here! Can't you see me?

You showed me her face. Her perfect smile , brown eyes, body, posture, long wavy hair, Damn! everything!

Later that night I look at myself in the mirror...

who is that? why is she so ugly?

Boyish clothes, oversized shirt with cheap print picture on it, short hair with ridiculous highlights. I know from the very start, I am nothing to your girls.

Since we were in primary school you told me about this girl. How funny that you almost dated every girl in our school, except me. Hello? I'm a  girl too. But growing up, I figure out that you don't like girls that are immature. You want a girl who can be perfect for any aspects that you wanted. Me, in the quite side of the planet hopes that you will never find a perfect girl.

Every year I have regretted being a coward until we got together in university, and you finally met the one.

But sorry... I don't like her to be with you.

Because she's not perfect enough.

"What did you do? why is she crying?!" you angrily shouted at me.

"Sorry..." that is one word that I had replied to you.

I look up and scanned your whole sorrowful face. It made me feel bad as loss and grief was evident in your eyes.

And I'm sorry to disappoint you.

but words has it's own mouth,we are going to be friends again anyways...

Friends?

Screw that word.

Denise? she broke up with you because I told her that she isn't perfect, she isn't perfect for you. I told her the every aspects that you wanted for girl. Yes, she have those aspects. But loving you back? I don't think love is in her vocabulary.So, no she doesn't love you. I can see it through my eyes everytime denise stares at you, but there's no emotions in her eyes apart from infatuation and then I realised that it's better to break her ego and pride before she's going to break you heart. After all she don't really love you...right?

Again, I didn't explained why she cried and why she broke up with you and you blamed me for making her cry! but what the hell do you expect me to do? I know that you love her so much that I badly want to break her heart first before seeing you in my arms again with senseless tears in your eyes.

Do you know it hurts me more? I kept everything to myself and I was a coward for that. How can love blind me so bad that I ended up hurting myself again and again? but funny thing Is that I think you were blinded by you're tears and standards.

It hurts like I was stabbed by a battalion of devils.

At this point, I told myself to stop being you're saviour and your secret admirer.

But Nick... one more tear for some random girl and I will give up loving you.

Slowly enduring the pain I glance at the picture of us grinning at each other. You were wrapping your right arm on my shoulders while I was pinching your nose. I can't help but to smile with the fact that were so happy together and I can't afford to lose you if I confess this stupid feelings for you.