Beautiful Catastrophe

Chapter One- Alyssa

Make sure to listen to the song while reading this chapter

Trigger Warning

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pain.
The pain is so terrible.
You never fully understand pain...until you feel your heart break in two.

People think that the most unimaginable pain ever is breaking bones..child birth..kidney stones even...

But none of those measure up to the pain I'm talking about.

The most unimaginable pain that I am talking about is losing a family member.

And in my case...
My Father.

A Father is supposed to be in his daughters life forever...until she's fully grown...
And able to handle the pain...
But mine didn't stay.

God took him for reasons I will never know.

I was Eleven.
He died of undetected stage 4 lung cancer.

(Flashback)

I am so excited!!
I had gotten all A' s on my report card for school.
Dad told me that if I kept up the good work
That he would take me out to get a huge ice cream sundae.

And I wanted that ice cream sundae a lot.

I got up off my seat on the school bus as Mrs. Stone pulled the bus up to my house.

I pulled my report card out of my backpack so I would have it ready to show Dad.

I slung my backpack on my shoulder, told Madi (my best friend) bye and stepped off the bus.

I skipped up the driveway to the house and opened the door.

"Mom!! Dad!! Guess what!!!" I yelled as soon as I entered the house.

I kicked my sneakers off and sat my backpack down on the table by the door.

I closed the door and walked into the kitchen.
"Mom?" I said.

Where were they?

I walked to the fridge to get some water and saw a note on the fridge door from mom.

Went to the store to get some things for dinner tonight.
Dad is in the living room watching tv.
Make sure you start your homework and I'll see you when I get home

-
Mom xoxo

I smiled at the little note and laid it down on the table.
I walked into the living room to tell Dad of my achievement.
But he wasn't in there.

The tv was still on but it was really loud so I picked the remote up from the arm of the chair and turned it down.

"Dad!! I'm home!!" I yelled hoping he would hear me.

Nothing.

I threw the remote on the chair and walked towards my parents bedroom.

Maybe he laid down for a nap.

I knocked on their door softly.

"Dad..you awake?" I asked.

Still nothing.

I turned the doorknob and pushed the door open slightly.

I didnt see him in the bed.
I pushed it all the way open and walked inside.

He wasn't in the bedroom.
I walked over to the bathroom door and saw it was cracked slightly open.

"Dad?" I whispered.

No answer.

I pushed it open hoping he wasn't actually using the bathroom.

"Oh my god..." I gasped in shock.
I backed up against the door holding my hand over my mouth to keep myself from screaming.

My dad laid in the floor.
I didnt have to try and feel for a pulse....
I knew he was gone.
His skin was slightly blue from no circulation.
He wasn't breathing.

I snapped myself out of my shocked trance and ran over to him.

"Dad!!!"I shook his shoulders. I knew he was dead...but I couldn't help it.
I just had to know for sure.

"Daddy come on....pl-please dad...."my voice cracked horrifically.

I got up and ran through the house out to the front yard.
My mom was pulling up but as soon as she saw me and the state that I was in she parked the car in the middle of the street and jumped out running to me.

"Alyssa!! Baby what's wrong??" She screeched.
She grabbed my arms and pulled me to her.

"Honey? Talk to me. What happened? "

I backed up trying to stop crying long enough to get the horrible news out.

"It-Its daddy!! He's dead! Mom he's dead!"

(End of flashback)

I wiped the tears away from my eyes and looked into the mirror.
I just wanted him back.
I looked myself over.

I pulled the bathroom mirror open and grabbed my mom's sleeping pills.

I dropped the pill bottle in the sink from shaking so bad.

I let out a shaky breath and popped the cap off.

"I'm sorry daddy...I know you wouldn't want me to do this...but I just can't take it anymore..." I cried.

I looked myself over again and dumped the pills in my hand.

I put the pills in my mouth, filled my glass up with water and swallowed.

It's finally over.

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