resolution♔ z.m

9%

When you told me I was your moon, I thought it was quite sweet, but little did I know, the skies always change and the moon never stays.

       

      I tried to write today, because Harry said it would help me overcome anything in no time—he lied. The blank page had been several times flipped, yet no word of mine touched the sheet, and, I guess it was okay, because he kept on staring at me like a predator.

“So?” He points his finger at the new diary, “Anything yet?”

“No.” my finger runs down the edge of the paper, the sharp surface leaving a little scar on my digit.

He sighs loudly, gathering bunch of his curls with a palm and letting it flop back to his forehead. “Let’s go.”

And from there, we meet the lads at this photo shoot studio.

“Thought you wouldn’t make it up on time,” Louis whispers an indirect hello to Harry and me once we get in. He probably meant I wouldn’t make it up on time. He was right. I didn’t even want to show up. Rumors were beginning to spread, and I thought Vera could hold it longer. I thought she could at least say we were having a rough time and not that we are over, which we were, anyway. It’s overwhelming wanting Vera in every way there is to want a person. No matter how much hurt she has caused me, I still pretend to be intact, hoping she’d come back one day and say she has fallen back into love.

      The lights are almost blinding as I walk through the narrow corridor, white colour splashing on top of the bodies walking by us.  Fallen back into love? Who am I kidding? How can she ever love me once more if I’d go back to doing what made her leave in the first place? Should I ask her for one more chance? I am willing to change; I am willing to fly ten planes back home if she ever asks for that. I have truly realized what it is to be without her, how empty and abandoned my heart feels without her touch tracing my skin.

    The ground is bare, very smooth with various cables spread around. The room is vastly built, the ceiling exceedingly high with metallic support. There are quite a few people filling the space, all seeming to be occupied in conversations. I see people, but I hear nothing.

“I hear we have a new photographer who’d be with us for the third leg of the tour,” Liam informs us as we are being led by Lou to the make-up room (of course she notices the mess Harry’s hair has become.)

“You’re getting a haircut once you’re done with the photo shoot.” Everyone laughs at the way Harry tries to change her mind, but I don’t get the fun of it. But, as I keep thinking harder about Vera, despite the fact I have two girls fixing up my face (since I had bags beneath my eyes), I remember we have another tour in February and she’d get tired of this again and we’d have to go back right to the start.

“Giselle will be here in five.” Lou says while she finishes up with Louis’ hair.

“Who’s Giselle?” Niall asks with a mouth stuffed with chips.

“She is really lovely. I met her a few days ago and I am glad she will be with us for the end of the tour.”