resolution♔ z.m

0.01%

  Heart grew strings trying to forget you.

           Been a week since I last said her name out loud. It sounds so foreign to my tongue, more like salts on cuts. “What’s the time?” if I was to answer, I’d say it was five p.m. because that was the time Vera and I first met. “’Ello, you there?” Harry cuts my train of thoughts. “What’s the time?”

          “I don’t know.” I sound so bitter, just like the coffee I loved drinking every morning we used to share together. used to..

“C’mon man, you’ve got a watch! Breaking bad will start soon and I wouldn’t even know it, ass.” He grumbles the last bit as he sits back restlessly, his locks obstructing his eyesight. “Lou will kick my ass.”

“You could use that shameful bandana of yours, and maybe she wouldn’t,” the smirk etches on Louis’ expression as he takes a sharp turn to the left.

“Ha-ha.”

       The new hit single, pull me, by The Lights!

          Harry taps his foot in time to the beat, bobbing his head from side to side, letting us know how catchy this song is and how much he likes this girl band. The last thing I needed was a girl band topping my list. “They’re not bad you know,” Louis clarifies his opinion. “I like them, too. I think Jade, or Jas, or whatever her name is, would fit you Zayn, don’t you think?” the front view mirror reflects his eyes, flashing a brief smile before looking away and taking another sharp turn. I wonder who gave him a driving license. “But I don’t think Vera would very much appreciate that, now would she?” Harry joins his laughter and as they commence making fun of how love struck they think I am, little did they know there was no longer a Vera in my life. I annoyingly shove the earphones into my ears, pretending to listen to music, doing anything—everything for no one to see how much I am hurting.

          I cared enough to let her go, and it hurts, it fucking hurts. I am so sick of being not enough or not being the one for her, when she was the one and only person who ever saw me differently. I am aware of all the history we made and of all the—“You’re so going to miss it if you don’t hurry up!” I groan when Harry cheerily continues exclaiming “hurry up!” and nearly shoving me out of the car. I stomp out on the gravel and scurry on to Liam’s flat before any fans get hold of us. I decided to move into Liam’s place for a while because I didn’t know if I could bear living alone. You know that’s not the truth. Without knocking on the door, i forcefully jerk it open and sprint my way to the extra room Liam made me feel comfortable in. He’s a great lad, and the privacy he gives me is the reason I decided to move in with him—not like the others weren’t good, but they’d just bug me continuously and they’d obviously get to know the truth before I come to admit it and I wasn’t ready yet. I wasn’t ready to turn the page and that’s a fucking bummer. It’s like Vera is taunting my thoughts, making me sound like a prick for being so shallow and not wanting to move on.

         I couldn’t even get enough of my guts to ask her why he was better than I was. I didn’t even bother asking her who he was because soon enough, it would be all over social networks and I wouldn’t be able to hide my face. It would be in two or three months, give or take, you’d get to see Vera publicly admitting it, and I’m sure to prepare my death bed before then. I hated myself for this, I hated how personal everything was, how connected I was, and how every little thing about her was falling like pixels in front of my face. I know I should try to move on, because that’s what normal people do, right? Or am I allowed to be considered normal for being so attached or so sensitive and kept back?

      I am breathing so hard, I feel my head about to convulse. “I know this is a horrible time, but, do you want to talk or something?” the door creeks open and the soft brunet sticks his head in with a thoughtful look on.

         “t’s all good.” I bet my lies weren’t half as good as hers.

“They—the guys are worrying about you. And, well, I know it all stems from Vera, obviously,” he softly laughs with glint in his eyes, “and I didn’t want to talk much so I just said I didn’t know a thing, but can you really tell me what’s wrong?”

         “I’m fine.” I assure Liam. I w

as short of words, really. Though my mind was full of them, I still couldn’t make proper, lengthy sentences to my best friend. I was hardly surviving and with all this Vera bullshit rising to the surface, I know things are going to be worse. He knowingly nods, and he is definitely mindful of my dishonesty, but he takes it as it is and leaves, telling me Harry is about to piss himself before shutting the door.

                  Somewhere around nine p.m., not that I noticed it was too dark or too bright, I don’t even fucking know, I heard several shouts from the sitting room, and they sounded more like Niall’s shouts and Louis’ shouts and Harry’s scream and Liam’s “don’t fucking touch that.” Not only was my head convulsing, but so was my body and heart. Why was it hard to try to get over Vera though it has been over a week since she told me “I love you, I swear.”? My heart literally grew strings trying to forget her and I was shit at controlling the slender threads.

a/n: omg hi, some of u wonder why it's in percentage,

but you'll soon understand and and and comment+vote please ily