His ways

Missing Him

The way he talks is ear shrieking, the way he looks aggravates me more than you can ever imagine. Those bright blue eyes stare directly into mine, sending shivers down my spine. That body that usually girls drool over makes me want to throw up. The way he leans back in his chair like he doesn't give a care in the world makes me want to scream and the way he passes every test and exam without doing any work in class or study makes me want to punch him in the face.

I can't do anything about it...I will always be second best behind Xavier. I don't know how it happens, I work my butt off in class and do the best I can. Each time I look over at Xavier and the fifty girls drooling over him, I see him chatting them up. Not even listening to the teacher!

As I gazed towards him, a sharp pain rose up in my ribcage, making me wince. Every five bloody seconds Xavier's eyes are set on mine, making sure I notice the girls that are falling head over heals for the guy they'll never get. He will play but never keep. The teacher is even looking at him. That smirk that is apparently 'just so sexy and cute' is shot in my direction every time he lays his eyes on me. My attention was yet again dragged towards the digging pain that shot through my ribcage.

"You're lucky you know..." My head snapped around to a whisper that was right up against my ear. It was Keelie. She hasn't talked to me since year eight, when that jerk moved to our school.

"Pardon?" Yes I am still the freak that uses all my manners. I've always grown up like that, like the good girl. The good girl who never misbehaves, the good girl who doesn't swear, the good girl who doesn't fool around, the good girl who doesn't go to parties, the good girl who listens to her parents, the good girl who always gets the best grade. That's how my mumma raised me and ever since she died, I've felt the need to respect her ways even more.

"Look at him."

"I'd rather not." My face automatically screwed up when I knew who she was talking about.

"I'm serious Scarlett, just look." A great sigh escaped from my lips as I looked over my shoulder, catching the attention of a few students surrounding us, they looked back to the teacher when they realised that nothing interesting was actually happening. Schools and their teenagers. When I looked at Xavier he was already looking at me, that caused all the other girls to also follow his gaze and look at me. He has that smirk plastered on his face, I looked him up and down which just ended in him winking at me. The thing that I hate most about him, he does that 'Justin Bieber' hair flick to get his straight, dark brown hair out of his eyes.

"He doesn't look at anyone like that Scar." That sent shivers running down my spine...she hasn't called me Scar in four years, let alone talked to me in four years.

"He's just doing it to aggravate me." She gave me a dirty look and then gave all of her attention to the teacher up the front, who was still looking at Xavier.

I've worked my ass off every single day to achieve what I came to the school to do. My mum was a psychologist and ever since I was little she would drill her stories and work memories into my innocent, little head. She used to say her job was just a job and not work because she enjoyed it. I don't particularly like school. I'm just putting in the effort to go every morning even though I'd rather put all my school hours into playing soccer. I wake up everyday with a fake smile on my face just to make others feel better or to make them happy, it's amazing how life functions in this world. I used to play soccer with my older brother Jeremy, I reminisce the days that we would play in the backyard. As soon as I think about my brother, flashbacks pass through my mind, grabbing my attention no matter what I'm doing.

------Flashback- 2 years ago------

My head was free but on fire, I thought about nothing except what was happening in front of my eyes. My legs burned, tears flowed out of my eyes, my face was more pink than what I'd hoped for, it was like the remaining air in my lungs was being sucked out of my lungs by satan. Gravity pulled my body down to the ground and weighed heavy on my shoulders. I watched my life being dragged away from my body, but...my eyes were glued to the ball that was stationary directly in front of my tall, seventeen year old, brown hair, blue eyed brother.

I shifted one of my legs behind the other, even though it was a burning sensation, I got in my reading position. Bending over a little bit, my eyes diverted towards the ground, looking at the grass. The water still trailed from the tip of the grass to the soil. The rain was gone but it was still present on the ground. I tilted my head up so I got a good look on my brother...or just the ball. From habit, my arms automatically dropped down to the ground and as I felt my fingertips graze the grass, I bend over more so that my hands carried some of my weight. I felt pride and joy. The second I took off with great speed, my back foot slipped and I face planted into the wet grass and dirt...in other words, mud.

It took me five minutes to peel myself off the slab of mud and wipe it off my face so I had a clear view of my brother, he was still holding his stomach and buckling over in laughter. My feelings were ambivalent...like a mixture of being upset, angry, annoyed and tired. I didn't know how I felt, but a smile still seemed to find a way onto my face.

The school bell snapped me out of my trance. No matter what I did, I thought of Jeremy, I really am missing him.