I want to strip myself of labels, because they are not who I am. They may describe me, but they do not define me. With them gone, I want to take you into the darkest depths of my mind, a place so disgusting I don't dare show it to anyone I know. Out of protection or self preservation, I do not yet know. I don't know anything...
Walk this path with me, I'll be your guide. Just this one time, because it is only at this time that I will be fit to lead, like I never have been or ever will be again. I am no leader, but I can be just this once, for you and for me.
It's dark, I know, watch your step too. There are many holes to fall down, and roots with thorns that trip and cut you. Not to mention the winding paths, take one wrong turn, and we'll be going in circles for hours.
Look at the flowers on the ground, all brown petals and withered stems, this was once a pleasant site. Full of light and warmth, with colors so vibrant they nearly hurt the eyes. But that's gone now.
Yes, this place is alive. It is cold and vicious, perhaps if I cared for it more it would be sunny and harmless, but I have neglected it. It started when I was young, and dismissed things that should never have been. Then it continued when I aged, and stayed quiet of these misdeeds. And when the burdens became too heavy, I spoke, only to have others do the same as my young self did.
Truly, my mind has been forgotten. It is only in the company of night, that it comes out to play. Or rather replay all the things I evade. All these thorns and roots, they aren't always avoidable, they aren't always still. They do not wait for me to trip, and to find myself in pain as a result. No. they come after me, envelope this entire venue, and stab at it, until all I can see are the bad things. But it's only in the dead of night.
Are you scared?
I wanted to strip myself of labels: Latin American, young adult, poor, bisexual, because I know you have been attacked by your mind at some point as well. Perhaps even recently. It is in this way, that I am just like you. And there is no shame in admitting that you are scared and need someone there.
Sometimes I too wish I had someone, and maybe someday we will each find our way. I truly hope you do soon.
Love, @JayRelms.
