I woke up with your arms around me, your smile as bright as the sun that was beginning to rise. You're beautiful eyes like twinkling stars in the night sky.
"Morning sunshine," you whispered in my ears.
"Morning handsome," I replied with a kiss.
I got up from the bed and went to Olivia's room. She was sleeping so peacefully and beautifully it made a smile appear on my face.
"She looks just like you," Jack happily whispered from behind. "She's such an angel," he continued.
"I know right. But she definitely has your eyes. They're as sparkly as yours," I slowly said focusing on Olivia. A chuckle escaped Jack's mouth and he pulled me into a hug from behind. My stomach made a turn.
His hand on my stomach, his mouth kissing my cheeks, his hair brushing against my skin, it was all so familiar it was almost the only place I was safe in — his arms.
But something killed me. Everyday. There was something I wasn't telling You. Something that was killing me.
S l o w l y
I couldn't tell you.
I turned away from Jack and toward Olivia. She had just woken up and needed to be fed. I put my arms around her and picked her up carefully. She is the reason for my happiness. She's my best friend. Jack had confusion all over his face and that made a shiver run down my spine. I loved him. Jack and Olivia were my family. My loves. The only people keeping me going. I hated seeing him hurt. I just walked past him to the kitchen. Olivia wanted breakfast and so did I.
You came to the kitchen and sat on the chair, eyeing me carefully until I smiled. Then you started to ease and turn your frown into a smile. "That's my girl," you said with happiness, complete happiness. "I'm your girl," I replied with a little smile.
"Mommy," Olivia said smiling. "Why is daddy so happy?"
"Because I have you and mommy," Jack said. His eyes looked... magical.
"I love you Jack," jack and I were looking at each other — eye contact.
"What about me?" Olivia asked with a pout.
Jack and I both laughed at her.
"Of course I love you sweetie. You're a part of me, and you're my best friend remember that,"
"Thas my girl," Olivia repeated Jack's words and we laughed again.
We were a happy family you think. I'd think that too. But I was keeping something from you. I'm sorry.
...Loving you was young, wild and free
Loving you was sunshine, safe and sound, a steady place to let down my defenses
But loving you had consequences...
I thought if I told you what was making me sleepless you'd leave. That's what they all do.
They leave.
