pretty || a hayley williams oneshot

"Am I pretty?" Hayley asked.

It seemed like an odd question for an eight-year old girl, who really should be playing around outside, flaunting her pigtails and chubby cheeks instead of staring at herself with a frown, but it was one she found herself asking quite often.

"Of course, Hayley," Her impatient mother answered, a quarter of her mind on the conversation and the rest on such insignificant things, such as crushing debt and escaping poverty. "You are pretty."

Hayley knew her mother wasn't really paying attention, but her answer was reassuring.

"She's right," She said to herself. "I am pretty."

-

"Come, Hayley! He's here!" Hayley didn't move.

"Coming, mom!" Hayley looked in the mirror one last time, checking everything.

"You look pretty," She said. "You look pretty."

She ran down the stairs and saw her mother standing beside her date.

"Bye, mom!" She yelled, as her mother waved and shook her head in disapproval.

"You're too young!" She yelled after her. Hayley blushed and covered her face with her chubby hands.

The boy looked at Hayley and gave her a half smile, then looked back down at his phone. She smiled back, excited for the school dance. She loved her dress, and she thought she looked very pretty in it.

"Do you like my dress, Josh?" She asked the boy. He looked up for a few seconds at the wide-eyed girl before returning to texting, and answered with a quick 'yeah'.

Hayley smiled wide and asked another question. "Am I pretty?"

The boy looked up from his phone and looked at her eye to eye. Her's were waiting for her world to either implode into itself or explode with light, while his were daydreaming about anything else.

"I mean, yeah. You look okay... but when you laugh, your face scrunches up weirdly, and it looks ugly." He returned to texting as if nothing happened, but to twelve year old Hayley, everything happened.

"He's right," She said to herself. "I am just okay."

-

Hayley stared at the mirror with a frown on her face and sighed.

"You look okay," She said to herself. "You look okay."

She collapsed onto her bed, and heard her mother come in. The bed creaked from her weight, and she just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry.

"Dinner, Hayley. We're going out tonight." She sat up.

"Am I pretty?" Her mother walked to the doorway and turned around.

"Of course, Hayley." She replied with a blank face to match her voice. "You are pretty."

Hayley got up off her bed and went downstairs with a last glance at the mirror. She saw thick thighs and big arms, a plump stomach and an off-putting face. She closed her eyes to hide from the terrifying window to the truth, the hatred for her reflection she feared but relied on.

She looked at herself and watched her average face scrunch up and become ugly as she fake laughed, remembering her first love's words from over two years ago. She threw her hands over her face and checked her phone.

She read a text from some popular girl in her class, Betty.

"You're so ugly, you're not good enough for Josh." It read.

Hayley threw her hands over her face and cried.

"She's right," She said to herself. "I am ugly."

-

Hayley ran out of her house to meet her friend for her fourteenth birthday. She stared down at herself for a few seconds, watching her short dress reveal her thighs that weren't nearly as small as Betty's.

"You look ugly," She said to herself. "You look ugly."

Hayley spotted the girl she couldn't help but compare herself to. The young girl fought the urge to run into her room, her safe haven, and hide from all the eyes that held thoughts about her she didn't want to hear.

"Betty!" The 'changed' girl turned around, and her heavily made up eyes widened as she looked at Hayley.

"Wow, girl! That's a lot of makeup you've got on!" Hayley blushed.

"Why? Am I ugly?" She asked, pulling out her mirror and checking her face. Betty smiled.

"Of course, Hayley." She said with a sarcastic smirk. "You look absolutely hideous."

Hayley laughed and covered her face, but her eyes were pained. She knew her friend was kidding, but it stung.

When Betty turned around, Hayley wiped a tear from her chubby cheek. If only she had been normal, had been okay or had been pretty, maybe all of this wouldn't hurt so much. Maybe everything wouldn't hurt so much.

"She's right," Hayley said to herself. "I am hideous."

-

Hayley finished fixing her appearance, sighing at how long it would take to get off all the makeup she had applied.

It's okay, though. She thought. At least I won't look disgusting.

She walked out of her room and ignored her mind, pushing thoughts and hurtful words to the front of her twisted mind. She waved goodbye to her mom, who didn't wave back.

Hayley walked out her front door and made her way to the movie theater where she would meet her boyfriend. She had gotten together with one of Josh's friends who was much nicer than Josh himself.

She saw him standing and waiting at the curb, and she waved. She adjusted her outfit and hair, and then walked over.

"I'm Hayley..." She said timidly, looking down as she smiled. He beamed at her and held out a hand that she took. "Beautiful name. I'm Taylor."

He smiled at her, and she looked down, not wanting to show him how ugly the smile she couldn't contain was. They walked into the theater, smiling and chatting about anything at all.

When they walked out, they sat on the curb before they had to leave. As they were talking and joking around, Hayley laughed at a joke Taylor had made, and instinctively covered her face. Taylor pulled away her hand and Hayley shot up and stared at him.

"Sorry." Taylor said. "I just wanted to know why you always covered your face when you laughed." Hayley looked down.

"I guess I just had some bad experiences when I was younger and some habits have stuck with me." Taylor looked at her, silent.

Hayley shifted and faced him.

"Taylor, am I pretty?" Hayley asked, staring at him as if her life depended on the next words he said. Taylor grabbed her face and turned her towards him.

"Of course not, Hayley." He said, and Hayley felt tears, as she stood up. He held her hand and pulled her back down, and they locked eyes, his love struck eyes staring into her tear-filled ones.

"Look at me, Hayley."

He firmly held both her trembling hands in his own.

"You should never cover your face. You don't deserve any of that. You don't deserve to feel self-conscious or like you have to hide yourself. You should never feel anything less than what you are. And do you know what you are?" He asked. Hayley stared at him, for the first time in forever feeling good. Feeling hopeful. 

"You're not pretty. You're so much more than that."

Hayley's tears streamed down her face, but for what seemed like the first time ever, they were happy tears.

"You, Hayley Williams, are absolutely beautiful."