Makki Oneshots(No swearing) (A camp camp Makki fanfiction.)

Pixies and Pythons

This oneshot is dedicated to one Gavin Free, the slowest of guys. It's kind of a what if scenario but hey it might be fun. Max's point of view.

"Hey Nerris!" I shouted up at the cardboard fortress. She responded in her fantasy nobility way.

"Who dare approach the dwelling of Nerris the...." I interrupted her before she could finish.

"Cut the act, we need some dice." I shouted back at her. She looked down at us in that fake royal way.

"You may enter, squire Max, gentleman Neil, lady Nikki and claim your dice." We climbed up the inside of the structure, the whole thing seemed to shake for a moment but it was probably us climbing the inside making the fortress shift around. At the top Nerris seemed scared for just a second but quickly calmed herself. She spoke.

"Did you feel that allies, it was as if the world itself shook, and what a terrific moaning?" I sighed at her.

"Nerris it was your shoddy IKEA castle. For goodness sake. Were you raised by idiots?" I looked over the battlements to see Gwen rushing around. She was picking up Harrison who appeared to have slipped on some ice and was now covered in ice, rice and a couple of lice. I laughed and pointed.

"So Nerris the cute, can we have thy dice, we need them for our underground gambling ring." Said Neil, I thought I saw Nerris blushing but I wasn't sure. I mean she had called Neil a gentleman earlier so maybe. She held out her hand, a collection of 20, 8, 6 and 4 sided dice in them. Neil went to grab them but she pulled her hand away.

"You may have them, but only if you can win them." She swept her arms in a flourish and I groaned.

"No I'm not doing that, your dumb fantasy game takes at least three hours to play, we were going to win all of Nurf's money from him." I made to leave, but just as I made it to the ladder Nikki grabbed my arm.

"Max we've got the whole weekend. It'll be fun, like an adventure!" Her eyes glowed at just the thought of an adventure even if it was a stupid make-believe one. I sat back down, even if it was against my better judgement. Nerris continued her voice taking on a more mystical tone.

"Now travellers, a great quest lies before you to kill a dragon and reclaim a treasure, I entrust upon you as the cavern keeper your..." She paused for effect. "Character sheets, abilities and playing pieces. Nikki, you are to play a warrior, Max a drunken bard and Neil an alchemist." She said, that slight glow returning to her cheeks.

"An alchemist!" Neil cried. Nerris looked worried.

"Is that all right Neil did I presume wrong?"

"An alchemist? The crazy mavericks who laid the foundation of our very understanding of science? That sounds pretty cool actually." 

butted in. "Hold on, you have lame character sheets for everyone here already?"

"A sorceress should always be prepared, Ax-ilton the Weak." I glanced at my character sheet, a passable representation of me dressed as a tramp wielding a tiny axe and with a lute placed on my back. At least I was wearing a blue hoodies. I sighed. This was going to be a long day.

The game played smoothly, clearly Nerris was a competent cavern keeper though she'd only ever before played with stuffed animals. The story line itself was a rip off of the Hobbit though she threw in enough fresh stuff to at least make it semi interesting. The quest was easy and I suspect Nerris really just wanted to spend some time playing with other people specifically Neil. I whispered to Nikki throughout the game just to ask her if she shared my suspicions. Finally after maybe four hours the game was coming to a close. The dragon was vanquished and we'd reclaimed a stolen treasure that was rightfully ours yadda yadda yadda. Throughout the game Neil had gathered certain non-essential items just for the hell of it.

"So, the warriors have completed their quest, the treasure of their forefathers was safely in their hands and all was well throughout the land.... or at least until next time." She added dramatically.

"All right Nerris, we've played your dumb game and won, the dice please." I extended my hand. Nerris was about to give me the dice when Neil spoke up.

"Stop right there Ax-ilton the Weak, you've been a bard the entire quest yet not a single poem hathe came from thy lips nor a melody from thy lute."

"God damn it Neil, you moron we almost had them. Arrrgh." Neil placed his palms together.

"Stop metagaming Ax-ilton, as you hathe been conversing with Nikki the Wild in secret I place upon you a love potion and I suspect you dothe harbour feelings for her." He flicked his fingers as if sprinkling it upon me. "Now speak up and speak of thou love." I nearly exploded with rage. Not only have I had to use up most of the day playing a poor dungeons of dragons rip off but now I have to speak of love to Nikki. I mean Neil didn't even know I liked her a little, I mean I always kept myself calm when I was around her. I must have gone red as Neil chuckled into his hand. I steadied myself, we may as well get what we came for. I pretended to strum a lute.

"My dearest Nikki, who blooms so bright,

beautiful eyes shining in the faint candlelight,

you are my world, full of laughter and life,

and perhaps one day, one happy day you would become my wife,

as when I look at you I forget all troubles and strife,

I looked across, at Nikki, she'd gone bright red. Neil was trying not to explode with laughter and Nerris was smiling and holding Mr Waffles to her chest. I decided to end the poem quickly.

"So now you know how I truly feel,

now give me the damn dice and.. er.. screw you Neil."

Nikki chuckled at me, while Neil was laughing so hard he nearly fell off the fortress. Nikki spoke after what felt like an eternity.

"Thanks, Max, that was really touching and nice." She paused. "My favourite bit was the end bit of course." She laughed nervously. My mood lightened at her comment, to be fair it was pretty funny, I'd pretty much confessed my small crush on her and she hadn't minded at all. That being said I swiped the dice from Nerris's hand and went down the ladder.

"Come on guys, we've still got enough time to get Nurf's money." As Neil was leaving I heard.

"Goodbye Nerris the cute Neil the alchemist bids you farewell."

"Good day Neil the alchemist come back anytime." Replied Nerris.

As we were walking away a mountain in the background erupted and I could just about hear the gruff voice of the quartermaster.

"Hmm... End times."