𝓐𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓵 𝓸𝓯 𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓱

ⓒⓗⓐⓟⓣⓔⓡ ⓣⓗⓘⓡⓣⓨⓣⓗⓡⓔⓔ

“It felt like death, Taehyung. I went through Hell and back. I’ve been through some rough, fucked up shit in my life, but this was undeniably the worst,” he added, biting down on his shaking bottom lip, finally looking at him. “I thought I had lost you. You, the one thing that makes me wake up in the morning, the one thing that motivates me to live. I don’t think you understand how much you fucking mean to me, Taehyung. I love you. Do you get that? I don’t know if you can feel it, but can you understand it, at least? Can you understand that I would give my life for you, that I would take a bullet... that I would jump in front of a blade for you?”

They stared at each other in silence, both with tears filling their eyes, their bodies still. The tension was palpable in the air, mixed with the specks of dust that flew around with each stiff movement their bodies did. The silence was deafening; it was filled with unsaid words, unfelt emotions that ached to finally come out.

“Every second after I took my first step out of the apartment, I regretted it,” Taehyung mumbled, looking down at his hands, a tear falling on his thumb. “Every step was a stab in my heart. It felt like someone was slowly ripping my arm off; I could feel every bit of skin, muscle and vein that tore with each step I took farther away from you. I did it so I could come back and everything would be like normal again. I left so the police could not trace anything back to my ass, and inevitably back to you. I did it to protect you, to protect us.”

Jungkook suddenly got up and walked to the bathroom door, standing in front of it. His shaking hand hesitated to grab the knob. He turned it and pushed the door open, a metallic, unwanted smell emanating from the room. Taehyung got up, curious and confused, and slowly walked to Jungkook who was simply looking inside of the room, his stare blank.

His jaw clenched when he saw what was inside. His heartbeat quickened and his whole body tensed, every glance around the corners of the room making him understand what had happened. He stepped inside of the room, his feet gliding over the dried, coagulated blood on the white ceramic. He looked down as his feet bumped into one of his knife kits, all of them splattered or covered in old blood. The chains were still attached to the usually subtle hooks of the bathroom, also coated in dark red. He took a deep breath as he looked back to Jungkook, boiling.

“You killed someone?” he asked, his voice low.

Jungkook softly nodded as his eyes still stared at the dried puddle of blood beneath the chains, recollecting what he had done in a moment of pure hysteria. He did not regret it one bit. It had made him feel closer to Taehyung when he needed it the most. It had awakened something inside of him he had never thought was there. The sight of his first official intentional kill pleased him. His other kills had been far from the most enticing compared to this one. This kill had been orchestrated, organized, whereas his latter ones had been erratic and impulsive.

“Only one?” Taehyung added, slowly walking towards him.

Jungkook grinned and shook his head to the sides. She had been one, yes… one of many. A lot could happen in a month. When he was awake and sober, he tried his best to forget what his dark self had done the night before. He did enjoy it, the thrill of the kill; everything Taehyung had told him about why he enjoyed taking people’s lives. He had seen it, lived it, and understood it. Yet there was something eating at him whenever he was done. He felt guilty; something he knew Taehyung did not feel. That was what differentiated them.

Taehyung clenched his fists, his mind going blank. There were so many questions he wanted to ask, yet nothing would come forth. He was confused, lost, stunned. Never would he have thought for Jungkook to turn like this. He knew he was dark and even slightly mad, yes, but not to that extent. Jungkook had changed. He had changed him. It was his fault Jungkook had turned into the one thing he hated most about himself. He had turned him into a monster.

“Why?” Taehyung choked, glancing at him, still puzzled.

“The first…” Jungkook mumbled, interrupting himself as his voice cracked. “Was to remember you. Remember how you moved. Remember what you loved. I reenacted every step perfectly. You would have been proud.”

Jungkook snickered, the ghost of a smile on his face. He seemed completely lost in his own head, his eyes glancing across the room. He seemed as if he was questioning himself, debating in his mind. Taehyung sighed loudly and ran his fingers through his hair, holding it off his forehead. He cursed and turned back to the bloody scene, to his knives, to the mess he had made his lover do. It was all because of him. You turned him into a monster, just like you are, it’s over now, a voice whispered.

“You aren’t a killer, Jungkook,” Taehyung spoke, his heart beating quickly.

“I am now,” Jungkook whispered back, finally meeting his eyes.