Help...

Part 1

My mother had always made me promise that no matter what I wouldn't let anyone tell me it was my fault. Promise that they would never take the light out of my eyes. I never fully understood what that meant. Not until it was to late that is. She was too strong, and now that I've made the same mistakes I think it's time I share my story.

A short time after my mother had first made me promise, I noticed something was off about her. She had began to cut her hair shorter, and seemed drained of energy. She was never really herself again now that I think about it. She looked sickly pale and new bruises on her each day, yet she would never tell us what was wrong. Dad had taken over everything. From cleaning, working overtime, and looking after my little brother Ethan and I, to staying up late to wait for mom to get home.

Ethan was too young to understand, and I didn't fully understand yet either. From what I did get, I knew mom wasn't okay but neither was dad. As the weeks went by, my parents never seemed to notice how consumed in their problems they really were. Dad became extremely quiet, and as I had already said, Mom was never really around anymore. It was like I had lost two parents for the price of one.

I was used to mom coming home late, but on this particular night I had a bad feeling. I tossed and turned for hours, the feeling just wouldn't go away. Soon it grew to be too much. I walked out of my room to see dad sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. Two police officers stood in front of him with sympathetic, almost pitying looks on their faces. My stomach dropped as soon as my father looked up and locked gazes with me.The words that I never wanted to hear passed his lips and it was like time had froze just long enough for my world to crumble before my very eyes.

Tears brimmed and threatened to fall, but I wouldn't allow it. My Dad's eyes told me all I needed to know. His once shining honey colored orbs were now a dull shade of brown , with layers of pain, regret, and sadness glazing over. My lip began to tremble and my body felt paralyzed. My heart clenched as thoughts raged inside my head. Thoughts about Ethan, and the future. Thoughts about her. Thoughts about the promise I had made to my mother months ago. And then my world went black.

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The funeral was two days later at Sacred Heart Cemetery. I remember that much. Most of the time my vision was blurred from the overwhelming amount of tears in my eyes. Many of my mother's friends gave speeches, as well as much of my extended family. I also remember my Father had also given a speech. I remember his perfectly. The words are forever engraved into my mind.

"Many of you know me as the man who always had a smile on his face. The guy who could never turn down his wife." He paused just long enough for a humorless chuckle to pass his lips.

"My wife.... Put the happiness of her loved ones above her own life. She had done the best she could with the little time we had her in this world. Death is not the end for her, it is merely the beginning of a new chapter in her life. I may have known her since we were children, but it feels like I only had her for a few seconds. And in those few seconds all I felt was complete bliss. She always hated sad endings, so in her memory I'm going to do the best I can to continue her legacy. Throughout the years my wife and I continued to grow, laugh, and cry together. I always did my best to try and keep her happy, and so while I mourn for my wife I refuse to cry. I will honor my wife until I draw my very last breath and I swear on my life, I will never disrespect her memory. In the end, I have no regrets, and will remember everything she put me through. All because of a promise I made her. A promise that she is mine and I am hers. Forever and always, I love you Selene. A loving Wife, Daughter, sister, and most importantly mother."