Desteil love

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Hey y'all so there's some self harm in this chapter so just be aware that that is a thing..... SORRY

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Casteil P.O.V.

I didn't see Dean for the rest of the day. I had no idea what I would have said if I did see him.

As soon as the bell rang to let us out school I was up and out of the classroom as soon as I could. I lived in town so I and most of my siblings just walked to and from school. On the way home I put my earbuds in and tried to forget the day that I had. I had my bag hanging off one shoulder and I found myself ringing the strap between my hands, but didn't have the self control to stop the anxious habit. Before I knew it I was facing home. My home was a chaotic mess. Nothing was ever still. I had so may brothers and sisters it was hard to keep track of who was which age and lived where. When I opened the door I was greeted by a fight. My older twin brothers were at each others throats. "Why don't you fuck of Michael!" Lucifer through a plate that missed Michael and almost hit me. "Christ," I said under my breath. Both brothers looked at me with a death glare. "Do not use the lords name in vain you little fag," Michael was stomping towards me, my eyes begged for help from Lucifer. He just shrugged at me and went to sit down taking a remote from on over the kids and changing to a new show.

I ducked out of Michael's way and dove behind the island in the kitchen. "Michael! Please, I'm sorry! It wont happen again!" I begged. He glared then scowled at me. "Look Cas I know you really don't believe in our lord and savor but if you are going to live under this roof you will follow His rules, do you understand." I shook my head up and down fast, hoping to avoid any more conflict. Once he sat down next to Lucifer and started to pick at him to change the channel, I was running to my room. Well it was more of an unfinished room down stairs that I had clammed as my own. Being the only one in the house to have their own room I had to deal with the bugs, freezing temperatures, loud pluming, and missing the call to when dinner was here. But it was all worth it if I had a place to myself. I curled up on my bed. I unplugged my earphones and let my emo music play out loud. My self hatred was over welling to day. I eyed my razor blade on my night stand. My arm burned. I made and audible "ugh" and rolled over. It doesn't help anything anyway. I knew I would come back to it later tonight anyway.

I closed my eyes and relived the horrific event that unfolded this morning. Tears of anger fell from my eyes, I had just met someone who would talk to me and my gay ass had to go and fuck it all up.

Dean's P.O.V.

I ran out of the library, modified. I was not gay! I was not going to kiss that fag. I ran all the way to my car, got in and drove. There was no destination, as long as I put distance between me and Casteil. I pulled over in an empty convenience store as soon as I put her in park I slammed my head against the wheel. The memory of his beautiful sky blue eyes found its way into my head. I let out a scream in frustration. "I am not fucking gay!" I have laid plenty of women, they liked it, I liked it damn it. What the hell was I thinking.

After a hour or two of this I drove to the closes burger shop. It was a Zips. I ordered the biggest burger with the least amount of veggies, I wasn't a rabbit. I sat myself down and ate it slowly, still thinking things over. As I was leaving to get Sammy from school I asked the cashier if they were hiring and to my surprise they needed to fill a spot within the week. "Would you be able to come in tomorrow at 4 for an interview?" the manager seemed really happy to have someone show up. I agreed and took and app. to fill out before then.

It was still a hour before school got out so I parked in the lot and smoked a cigarette out the window while I played my classic rook. "I could use a drink" I grumbled to myself with full intentions on taking dads ID and finding myself a liquor store out of the area. After my smoke I closed my eyes and let the classic rock and small nicotine high smooth out the stress of that day.

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The loud bang of the car door startled me to consciousness. "I hate when you smoke Dean, it makes the whole car smell." Sam said under his breath as he buckled his seat belt. "I had a long day," I groaned. The ride home seemed longer than normal. When we did pull up to the house I could tell that dad was awake and throwing a fit. The lights were on and I could see him pacing in the window.

"Hey Sammy," I cautioned Sam and nodded to the window. "What do you think happened?" I shrugged and turned off the engine. When we got up to the door I stepped in front of him to protect him from a fling plant.

I opened the door to the furniture thrown about and papers all over the living room. I felt Sam hug closer to me. I didn't see him from the door way and taking that as a good sign I bushed on ward keeping both eyes open. I felt the glass shatter at my feet before I saw Dad. "Go to your room Sam" I didn't move my eyes from dad.

"Dean my boy," fathers words were slurred with his drunk breathe falling over me. He puts a hand on my shoulder. "Dad you should go to bed," I shrugged off his hand and took a step back. His face grew angry, "damn it Dean I am your father and I know what is good for you and Sam!" He shouted in my face spiting all over me. "You haven't done shit put sit on your ass and drink." I pushed past him and went to the cabinet looking for the strong alcohol I smelt on his breath. "YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT! ITS MINE!" he lunged for the cheep whiskey I found. I dove out of his way and run up the stares with my sober agility. "Take a nap old man" I called before closing myself in my room for the rest of the night.