Lost Feelings : A Niall Horan Fanfic

Confessions

With tears forming in your eyes you ask, "Why? Why did you do it Niall?"

"I was-"

"Just stop, do you know what the last 10 months have been like!? Do you have any idea the pure hell I have been in since that day!? I cry at leat twice a day, not counting when I go to sleep. No, not when I go to sleep because I don't sleep, I can't. Agonizing, that's how the past 10 months have been, why would you care though? You have an amazing life, the whole world knows you, and absolutely adores you. Not that I blame them. I came here to see you, all I wanted was to see you in person one more time, before you vanished from my life forever. And now you tell me you still love me? Have you cried everyday Niall? Have you just sat and thought was exactly was so wrong with you that someone who told you they "I love you" every 5 minutes could just forget about you? I realize now that this was a terrible idea and I should have never came." You turn to the security guard that's been standing there the entire time, "How do I get out of here?" It's a good thing you don't wear makeup or you would look completely ridiculous. More than you already thought you did.

As you turn to walk away a hand grabs your wrist. 

"I am not letting you walk away again Jane, I've already made that mistake once and I'm not going to make it again. Listen to what I'm about say, please?"

"Alright, fine." You could see tears forming in his eyes.

"That night, after it all happened, I didn't sleep at all. All I could do was beat myself up for letting you go. In rehearsals I messed up 10x more than I did before, and yes, I did cry, everytime I took a shower. I know that sounds dumb but I didn't want to cry in front of everyone, they would just bother me with questions and I was not in the right state of mind to answer, them I didn't want to talk about you. It hurt too much. My point is, I made the biggest mistake of my life that night and I've regreted it ever since. I don't have an explanation to why I did it, it was just, stupid and I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry Jane." By now the tears that were forming earlier were streaming down his cheeks, and well you, you were a complete mess. 

"Do you realize how hard it is for me? Your face is everywhere in Mullinger, there's One Direction posters hanging in every single store. Every time I'm in the car there's a radio interview with you guys, or your song is playing. It's been unimaginably hard."

"We don't have to go on this way Jane, stay through the concert, you don't have to go back out there you can sit right here. I want things to go back to the way it used to be with us, before everything." 

"Niall you have to come change and get ready!" Someone yelled from behind a door. 

"Alright, I'll stay but I'm going to go back out to my seat." 

"Okay, whatever you want, I'll tell security to let you back here if you change you mind.' A smie formed on his face, "I love you Jane" He kissed you, exactly like he did the day he left for the xFactor.