Love is deaf • Meanie

Little Red Notebook

Wonwoo stared at the notebook in his hands, the ruby red cover had been worn down at the edges where it had rubbed against the clutter in Mingyu's backpack. He ran his hand across it and let the smooth surface make his heart flutter. He knew for certain this was going to be an emotional roller coaster but wasn't sure whether he was ready to experience the insane highs only to be dropped at a ridiculous speed from a million feet in the air.

He took a breath and opened it. The bottom of the pages were stained brown from when Wonwoo spilt his hot chocolate on their bedside table, he remembers that the notebook was the first thing that Mingyu saved from the spillage.

Mingyu's handwriting was as messy as it had always been, the smudged ink and wobbly letters reminded Wonwoo of the note with his number on that Mingyu slipped in his wallet when they met for the second time . He was somewhat glad Soonyoung stole his phone to text him without permission at the time but was regretting it more than ever now.

The first page was written on Mingyu's lap on the sofa in his apartment. It was barely legible but Wonwoo was determined to make sense of it.

'03/05/17

Hello Little Red Notebook. My names Mingyu.

I'm writing this sort-of-diary-sort-of-love-story to prove to the person that I adore that not being normal is so much better than fitting in. He believes that being the odd one out is something to be ashamed of but that's not true. Being different makes you interesting and intriguing like a book with infinite pages, a neverending story, and if I could I would spend forever getting lost in his pages learning every little thing about him. But for now I will write this; our own neverending love story.

One Monday afternoon when I was on my way home from work I met someone named Wonwoo. He had dropped his wallet in a puddle so I ran after him to return it and I'm very glad I did because now I am sitting next to him on the sofa in my living room whilst he tries to read what I'm writing over my shoulders.

Everything about Wonwoo makes me happy; his smile, his laugh, his voice and the way he buries his face into my neck when we hug. It's cliché but sometimes the biggest clichés are the most sincere memories.

Wonwoo kissed me today. This wasn't the first time we've kissed, or the second, or the third but everytime we do I can't help but feel as giddy as I did when our lips first met. Being with Wonwoo is most certainly the loveliest thing to ever happen to me. I'm happy and I know I will be in years to come too.'

Wonwoo couldn't help but smile as he read it. It was sweet and wonderful but hurt like hell.

He flipped to another page.

'05/01/18

I took Wonwoo out today, to a theme park. He didn't like the fast roller coasters so I told him that it serves him right for making me feel like I'm on one all the time but I still hand his hand the entire time so he knew he was safe.

One thing that Wonwoo always does when he is scared is he hides his face against my shoulder. I think it's really cute. I'll definitely take him to more theme parks in the future and next time I'll buy him ice cream too.'

Wonwoo remembered that date as if it were yesterday. Mingyu loved the swinging pirate ship and insisted on going on it over and over again, everytime it reached his peak Wonwoo felt like throwing up. He didn't admit it though and hoped Mingyu didn't notice how afraid he was, he supposed that his pale face and the sweat on his forehead gave it away though.

The notebook was starting to remind him of how much he loved Mingyu and as much as he wanted to find out the thoughts and feelings behind him cheating he just couldn't let go of the times that made him happy. He thought it might break his heart all over again. But you know what they say, curiousity kills the cat, or rather in this situation, curiousity breaks the heart.