Dangerous feelings

Chapter 26

It had been three months since the day at the hospital and almost every night Emily had awoke in a cold sweat and with panic resonating throughout her body, her mind taking her back to those awful events. She was traumatised from the entire experience and had been seeking help from a therapist as a way to cope. Emily had been seeing Dr. Sullivan less as time passed and she dealt with her issues but the nightmares never seemed to stop no matter what techniques they had tried.

Dr Sullivan had been recommended to Emily via Hanna who had sought her help when struggling with weight issues and an eating disorder as a teenager. Hanna had urged for Emily to talk to the therapist when she struggled with her fathers death and the loss of Noah however until now Emily had been determined to face her problems on her own. With people including her children now depending on her she had taken up Hanna's advice and booked in twice weekly sessions with Dr Sullivan. She was down to just one session a week now unless she had a particularly hard time coming out of the trauma left by a nightmare.

When she had her nightmares Emily wanted nothing more than to get up and escape the confines of the house, feel relief from the outdoors however with the children sleeping in the house and it being a mission to settle them after they were disturbed that wasn't an option. Instead she lay there like usual trying to regulate her breathing once again whilst she stared wide eyed at the ceiling above her. Her eyes becoming unfocused the longer she stared at the same white spot.

What she saw in the nightmare was similar to the actual experience she had gone through at the hospital; one of the twins with a cord around her neck lifeless, Emily was unable to do anything to help and that's what upset her the most. The child was white and limp and she was carried away from her and out of her line of sight. The scene would then instantly morph to Alison lying on the operating table, whispering that she loved the brunette for one last time before the cold monotonous sound of the heart monitor announced that she no longer had a heart beat.

Alison was then wheeled away from Emily down the same long, dark hallway the twin had been taken and yet again there was nothing she could do to help. She had lost two people in the space of minutes and would then collapse to the floor in tears before waking up violently, her breathing irregular and covered in a thin layer of sweat.

Every time she thought back to that day in the hospital a lump would appear in her throat and she would find herself slipping into a panic attack. The only person who had ever been able to get her back to reality was Alison. As Emily carefully sat up in bed, tears silently rolled down her face as the real memories of that day began to filter through her mind.

"I'm sorry, we've had to transfer your daughter to the intensive care unit as she's having trouble breathing by herself right now. I can take you to see her if you would like?" The doctor explained with pure sympathy in his voice, but as much as Emily needed to know how her second daughter was she also needed to know if Alison was ok.

"She's ok?" Emily asked as relief flooded through her. Both her daughters had made it.

"She's a fighter that's for sure. She should be just fine in a few days" the doctor replied confidently.

"Alison? How is she?" Emily croaked out, her voice slightly sore from crying.

"I'm afraid I don't know right now but I will find out what I can once we get to the ICU ok?"

Emily nodded, unable to get any more words out. The worry that filled her was very quickly becoming overwhelming and she was only focused on the doctor ahead of her, if she had been told to make her own way back to where she had been stood she wouldn't have a chance in hell. She had no idea where her feet were taking her, only that she was going to see one of her newborn daughters.