Glow

Have you ever had that moment when you were at your highest but one small truth made you fall from the heavens? I’ve had that except it wasn’t a small truth. It was a big obvious truth. Maybe I had known about it from the start but simply refused to believe it but regardless, knowing it made me so crestfallen, like losing my wings which held me up so high. Let me start from the beginning.

My name is Lucy, no fancy last name, just simply Lucy. I have big black eyes, beady-like and long soft hazel brown hair. My whole world revolves around the life of Dylan Britton. He has this amazing smile and the most beautiful eyes. He’s sweet and caring, very genuine. He loves to watch basketball games and collect colorful novelty buttons; I believe he has about 90 now. He’s just someone I care about so much, he’s the one I love.

His mother had introduced us but at first he paid no attention to me, only stealing scarce glances. I wasn’t bothered by it much but I always thought of him as interesting. There was a long length of distance between us but I usually had my eyes on him. After a few months, I had noticed many of his habits, such as scratching his nose when he’s uncomfortable or biting only his pinky nail when he’s frustrated. Honestly, I was satisfied with just watching him from afar in a corner; I got to see things no one else gets to see. It was like our own little group, except he paid no mind to me.

It wasn’t until years later, I believe about seven, when he started to realize my existence. After the passing of his mother he began to stare at me more, often time intently, making me uncomfortable. I had considered him weird but it must’ve been because he was lonely. A week after the funeral he spoke his first words to me.

“You know…you really remind me of Mom…” His words were soft and gentle, but strained with sadness. His usual bright eyes were welled up with tears and his face had turned a hue of red. He suddenly grabbed me and wrapped his arms around me. It was the first time in so many years that I felt human warmth, I felt his unsteady breath on the nape of my neck as he sobbed gently on me. I didn’t know how to comfort him so I stayed still.

After that day, he would always come home from school and come straight to me to talk. He would always talk about his day at school, struggles with friends, what’s going on in basketball, and so on. I didn’t talk much since my days were usually bland and mundane. It was probably the highlight of my day when he came to talk to me but of course happiness is ephemeral.

One day, he spoke about a girl. He had talked girls before but this one was different. The way he spoke about her made him smile just a little brighter than usual and his eyes would always shine at the sound of her name. This girl was different because she had his heart. It was extremely strange; my heart would seem to ache every time he mentioned her. At first, I was genuinely happy for him, but hearing him go on for hours about this girl seemed to make me drop into a dark abyss.

Ironically, this girl would make me fall even more. If I had managed to grab hold of something to prevent myself from falling further, she would be the one to break it so I keep falling.

It wasn’t long until Dylan finally brought her over and I finally laid my eyes on her. She was tall and slender with lovely curves. Her skin was flawless and her eyes were painted with thick black eyeliner. As soon as she laid her eyes on me, I nearly jumped, she was so intimidating. She pointed a teal painted finger at me and placed a hand on her hip.

“Huh? Why do you have such a girly doll in your room?” She asked confused at first then quickly started to tease him.

What?

What did she say? She must be crazy and need contacts! Can’t she see I’m a girl, just like her?

I…I should go up and tell her.

I didn’t move. I stayed still, like a lifeless object leaning against the wall. I watched Dylan and the girl laugh together and slowly lean in for a passionate kiss.

The sight, which one could see as beautiful, broke me in so many ways that I didn’t know was possible.

My chest felt like it was being wrung like a towel and my throat was closing. I felt the tears starting to well up yet my face remained as dry as a desert. I desperately tried to reach a hand out, I used all my strength yet that changed nothing. Struggling immensely, I fought to speak yet no words would escape.

I had to watch the two express their affection for each other without even being able to avert my eyes. As much as it hurt to watch, it hurt more to realize that I’m just a doll and have absolutely no chance of happiness.

I had finally reached the bottom of the abyss and no ligament of my body could move; there was no way out for me.

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I am finally back! School's been killer but finals are almost over! I wasn’t in the mood to continue Wish or Goddess, so I decided to try a new love story.

I hope you enjoyed!

*Dylan and the girl did not have sex