Tranquility.

b r e a t h e .

Hello.

Thank you for opening this story.

I'm proud of you.

No, really.

Not just for reading this.

But for existing.

I mean it.

You're doing amazing.

I'm sorry you don't get told that enough.

I'm sorry there's a fire in your throat and a pressure on your chest.

I'm sorry your eyes are stinging with the intensity of a pissed-off hive of wasps.

I'm sorry your stomach is heavy and cold.

I'm sorry your head is screaming horrible, horrible things at you, things nobody deserves to hear.

I'm sorry.

You know, you're pretty cool.

Seriously, you are! I mean, look at you! You've come so far! That's awesome!

Sure, yeah, you've got scars, and stretch marks, and bruises, and blemishes of all kinds, but hey, those are beautiful, too! They tell such amazing stories, stories that only live on through you alone! Stories are sacred, kid!

You wanna know something? 

When I'm sad, which, let me tell you, is quite often, I cry. A lot. That's okay. That's healthy.

You're doing so well, sweetheart, so, so well!

It's okay to be sad.

it's okay to cry.

that's okay, I promise.

you're allowed to be weak sometimes.

I really like space, don't you?

I love the galaxies I see in pictures, because they remind me of all the bruises I got in my rough-and-tumble childhood. I see them in my eyes when I look in the mirror, too. I see them in the reflection of light off my phone.

I love stars, too. I see them in my blemishes and in my grandma's freckles. I see them in my siblings' smiles when they talk about something they enjoy. I see them in my own tears.

There's something strangely peaceful about space.

Hey.

I'm still proud of you.

You're still doing great.

You know, the song "Weightless" by Marconi Union has been said to reduce anxiety levels by 65%! Isn't that cool?

Oh, and you know someone worth living for? Thomas Sanders. He's a Viner-turned-Youtuber, such an amazing person. Just like you.

Take a deep breath for me, okay?

Life sucks, I know.

It sucks a lot.

You didn't ask for such struggles.

You're angry, and sad, and frustrated, but... You don't want to die. That's not it.

You want to start living.

Oh, sweetheart...

Whether you're gay, straight, bi, pan, ace, poly, trans, cis, questioning, black, white, Hispanic, Muslim, whatever, you're beautiful. You're beautiful and valid and I pray that one day you'll see that.

 I know that every breath tastes like smoke and ash and burns your throat like alcohol.

I know your ribs ache like you've been crushed.

I know it feels like your stomach feels leaden and your veins are pulsing hot and cold every second you're awake.

I know life is being cruel to you.

I know, sweetheart, and I'm so sorry.

Thank you for coming so far.

Thank you for surviving. 

Thank you for staying until the end.

I love you.