Life of Leslie

6

As I woke up I felt an arm snaked around my waist. Someone was laying behind me, spooning me. Pictures of Travis' face popped up in my head.

"No!!" I screamed as I jumped out of bed. "Get out!"

As I turned around to face the bed again I saw the curly hair and piercing green eyes staring worriedly at me. He stood up quickly and tried to make his way around the bed.

"Leslie.. Are you okay? Did I do anything?" he asked.

"I'm so sorry. No, you didn't do anything. But you should leave, like now." I answered with quite an attitude.

"Are you sure you're okay to be alone?"

"Yes. Just leave, please." I said being nicer.

"Text me, so I know you're okay. You make me worried right now."

"You don't have to worry about me, Harry."

He put on his brown boots and made his way to the door. He turned around and looked at me, very concerned. I knew I would've felt bad here but I just felt empty. Cold, emotionless and alone. He opened his mouth to say something but changed his mind and closed it again. I wanted to calm him down the best I could now so I comforted him with a hug. As I backed away, it seemed as if I had assured him a bit. He opened the door as I called out for him;

"Harry. I'll text you. Call me if something's wrong."

He gave me a big smile but it didn't reach his eyes. He was still worried. I wanted to kiss him, but I knew I couldn't. He closed the door after him and I felt how lonely I was. I knelt down and let go. Tears streaming, body shaking and I felt how I was going to fall in pieces if I kept going. I felt a panic attack creeping in. I couldn't let that happen, no. I couldn't, specially not now when I was alone. I started to focus on my breathing and think of all the good things that happened throughout my life to calm down. Most of the events happening before Jake's death. Except for one, Harry.

As I sat on my couch with a cup of hot tea I tried to figure things out. I know I wasn't fair to Harry this morning. I guess I just got flashbacks from Travis and couldn't feel those things now. I wanted to take it slow with Harry, to keep me from ruining it. But I have just made the complete opposite. He really must think I'm a freak.

I decided to take a walk to rinse my thoughts. I pulled on a hoodie and jeans. I pulled my hair up in a ponytail and put on a headband and set my headphones in my ears.

*****

I walked to the park which was nearby to my apartment. I sat down at one of the benches and looked at all the happy families there. Mostly two happy parents with two or three happy kids. Looking as if there was no bad thing in the world. I saw a toddler walking by itself a bit away from me. I didn't think more of it, I just assumed her parents were nearby. Then I saw how the little baby girl was on her way up to the slide. Four small steps which I could see she wouldn't make. I rushed to help her as I saw her losing her grip and she fell down. She started screaming and crying. I came up to her side and helped her up as I scanned the area to see who she belonged to. I saw a girl my age rush towards me. I made my way towards her;

"Hey! Is this your daughter? I saw her climbing by herself and I was on my way when she fell down." I explained.

"Yes, she's mine. Thank you so much, I was so busy, our stroller just doesn't want to lock and she's so fast. Thanks again!"

"You're welcome. Do you need any help with it?"

"No thank you. I'm good." she said as they made their way back to their belongings. I turned around and started walking.

Back in Manchester, I had a boyfriend. Well we were never officially together so I guess I shouldn't call him that. His name was Gavin and he was quite possessive. I loved him, I did, but he wasn't good for me. I could feel that. He wasn't abusive, absolutely not, he would never lay his hands on me. But he was in charge. He was the one who decided when we were good to talk. If I texted him or called him, I would hardly get any response. But when he tried to contact me I was supposed to obey. I don't really know why I would fall for that over and over again. But I did. I guess he had some charm and also some kind of power over me and my life. I was absolutely not allowed to see any other boys, not even my friends at school, at the same time he could have girls in his lap and that was okay. He didn't treat me right but he still made me feel good. As I snapped back into reality I felt my cheeks were damp, a few tears must have escaped my eyes. I wiped them as I did the dumbest thing I could.

I texted him.

Hey x

Simple as that, didn't want to seem desperate. Actually, I didn't even know why I wanted to hear from him. Maybe because he reminded me of the old days. When Jake was still around, and after. Within what seemed to be a minute my phone buzzed.

Who is this?

It's Leslie. I replied.

Oh. It's been a while. Got a gf now so u shouldn't text me.

Well news for you prince charming, this wasn't a booty call. That's what I wanted to reply, but I'm civilized I guess. So I simply texted him;

That wasn't why I texted but ok. bye.

That conversation was quick, I thought. I put my phone back in my pocket and pushed play as the music soothingly flooded into my ears. It was soon interrupted by a text. I pulled the phone back out. It was still Gavin;

We could meet. Where u at?

London, I moved. Remember?

Oh.. right.

Now the conversation must be over. But again he surprised me, with a double text. That did not happen often.

I could come there tmrw. Address?

What about ur gf? he could not be serious, could he really? Would he go that far just to see me.

What she doesn't know won't hurt her ;).

Wait... what was his plans for this? Well I guess I'll find out tomorrow. I gave him the address to my Starbucks shop and told him I'd meet him inside.