It all hurts my heart
To know I created this ruckus
Created this mess
"What have you done?"
I ask that question frequently.
What did I do?
Ruined things far beyond being able to repair
But of course,
Someone like me wouldn't take the blame.
I'd blame my shit of a life on others
Because I thought it was them
And yes, at one point it was
But when I started to grow meaner,
I started to create the problems
If it wasn't for those 2 sentences, who knows where I would've been
Happier?
Sadder?
Dead?
Dead is believable. I would've gotten worse if I didn't say what I have said.
So in a way, it did help me
but why grow so negative in this?
The one thing that makes my heart jump higher than anything is him.
I instantly smile at him because finally,
For goddamn once,
I have a person who cares about me.
A person who wouldn't let himself leave on my behalf
Someone who won't make me explain myself
Someone who gets it
Who listens
Who loves me.
and I love him..
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