Daddy (One Republic/Ryan Tedder)

Psychiatrist

My dad said," Alexa, can we talk in here alone for a bit?" I looked at Josh and Josh looked at me. I said," You can wait outside for a bit. I'll be fine and yes, I'm sure." Josh stood up and walked out of my room. My dad closed the door.

He grabbed my desk chair and moved it 4 feet away from me. He sat down. He said," Tomorrow you have an appointment with a psychiatrist."

I said," I don't need a psychiatrist! I'm not suicidal or insane. I'm just weird."

He said," She is going to tell you how to stop being a trouble maker."

I said," Oh so you are basically telling me that she will help me not act like myself. Well that's nice of you."

He said," She is also going to help you stop being a little brat."

I said," Are you calling me a brat now? I'm just trying to protect myself from being changed. Wouldn't you do the same, Ryan?!"

We stayed quiet for a bit until he said," Tomorrow you are going to go to the psychiatrist appointment if you like it or not. " He stood up and left the room. 

I grabbed the picture frame that I was looking at earlier and slammed it on the ground. I grabbed a pillow and ripped it into pieces. I knocked over my desk chair and desk. I ripped my bed sheets. I broke all the picture frames in my room. When I was done messing up my room, I knelt down to the ground where there was shattered glass and sat down on to my side. I began to cry to the top of my lungs.

Josh ran in and looked around. He was shocked. He looked down at me. He knelt down and helped me get up. My hands and legs were covered in blood.  Since I took of my shoes, my feet had a ton of cuts on them. Josh laid me down on my fucked up bed and called 911. My mom and dad ran in here.

My mom and dad were shocked. My dad picked up the picture I looked at earlier. He looked at me and asked," Why? Why did you do this, sweetheart? Everything is going to be alright." Then the ambulance came and took me to the hospital.

They put stitches on my feet, legs, and hands. I think I have 120-140 stitches. Well I was laying on the hospital bed when this lady walked in. She grabbed a chair and put it near my hospital bed. She sat down and said," Hi sweetheart. I'm Jackelin Drough. I'm a psychiatrist and-".

I said," Leave. Please leave! I don't want to talk to someone who will try to change me! I don't want you here! Please leave."

She said," I'm not going to change you. I'm just going to help you control your thoughts. If you want me to leave, it's fine with me but I'm just here to help you not cause this again. So do you want me to leave?"

I said," Let's talk for a little bit."

She smiled and said," Great. So what got you into this mess?"

I said," Well my dad said that I have an appointment with you. Well that reminded me of the time this kid who always had fun and played around changed completely after an appointment with a psychiatrist. He's now calm and scared of everyone. I don't want to be like that. I want to be me! But my parents don't appreciate who I am. My mom always yells at me because I get in trouble everyday at my school. She always says that I'm stupid,  tha she wished she had another kid, and other things like that. I never see my dad because he's always on tour but when he's here, he is always disappointed at me. He never hangs out with me because I embarrass him by playing around with the people. I only have one person who appreciates who I am and that's my best friend, Josh. He is always by my side. He is the only person I trust." I began to cry at the thoughts of what my mom and dad always say to me.

She handed me a box of tissues. She said," Is it okay if I call your friend, Josh, over?" I nodded a yes. She stood up and left the room.

She came back with Josh. Josh sat next to me and looked at Jackelin. She said," So Josh. Can you please describe Alexa for me?"